This City

III.

•••

"Something once lost will never return."
- Ciel Phantomhive, Kiroshitsuji S1
[Otaquotes]

"I needed to." Was the only answer I replied.

"What? Why?"

I closed my eyes and heaved a sigh, "You want to know why?" I swallowed the lump forming in my throat, "I abandoned this city for it reminds me of you. That everytime I went to a place, I remember you. Those moments covered me not with happiness but heartbreaks. I felt alone walking at the pavements and other stuff we did together. I thought you held onto me but you didn't. You supported me but Aemie you lied and broke me when you never actually believed in me. And I didn't say goodbye because I still want to see you even if it is just one day. And here we are. The day I never expected, the day which you dreamt of, your wedding day. I suppose you knew how hard for me this is. But here I am, telling you how much I cherished you eventhough you're already married. How ridiculous is that?" I chuckled for a bit, I felt fool for telling her all those. Damn, that hurts.

A tear escaped from her left eye. Her eyes blinked multiple times to obviously stop herself from crying. I stepped forward however she moved backwards so I came to a halt. A sign that she didn't want me near her.

"I'm.. I'm sorry, Nico. I am so, so sorry." She uttered and wept as soon as she started to speak. "I'm sorry if I failed you as your best friend. I'm very sorry that I made you live to those sham memories. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry I didn't believe in you when you told me you wanted to be a musician. But, look at you now. A successful artist." A proud smile appeared. Then she continued, "I was so wrong of my decisions. However, forgive me Nico if I can't apologize for not returning the love you gave me. I assure you, I felt it and I just want to say thank you." Her voice was cracked still, she managed to speak, "And I know one thing is for certain. You build up an exceptional part in my heart, Nicholai. Because of you, I found myself. And maybe, it was part of our fate that brought us together again in this place but then I realized, we will part our ways once more. Am I right?"

The moments I had with her got me blind that I've never moved on from it. Running away and living in another country weren't the best choice I choosed that I thought it would be. She was so sorry of what she had done but I am most sorry for myself for clinging onto it until now.

"No need to feel sorry, Aemie. I end up suffering and hurting my own, it's not your fault. I am. And yes, I will be leaving again─"

"Do you trust me?" She asked cutting me off.

My eyebrows met of confusion but I answered her, "Yes. I still trust you, Ae."

"Then leave Nicholai and never comeback."

My heartbeat skipped, an eerie silence echoed inside my head and as if it was endless before I finally spoke, my voice was soft.

"Is that.. what you really want?"

"This is not about what I want or what you want. It's about you being happy, that is all I am thinking for." She replied.

And so, I was so sure I'd never see her again.

I bit my lower lip before speaking, "Thank you for inviting me. I enjoyed the time I spend talking to you. Just, don't forget me okay?"

She nodded and said, "Find someone who will really belongs to you, Nico. Not just a person who you think is beautiful but a woman who can melt your heart and believe in you until the end of time."

The wind blew and a decision has been made.

"Let's not see each other again, Ae."

She is a precious I was totally about to lose.

She was quiet for seconds, absorbing what I've just said. Little tears started to fall from her face but she quickly wiped it off and responded.

"Alright."

That was the answer I needed to turn my back and walked away from her. Then, I heard a voice of someone an inches away from Aemie.

"Who's that?" Aemie's husband asked.

"Just a stranger who got lost in this city."

And in the starry night sky, I watched as the airplane sped up its way to our destination. For the last time, I looked out the window and left a glance to the city that mold me and shattered me eventually, just like her.