just give me a reason | f. torres

Reason 6

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia, and forget about the stupid little things, like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you and the memories I never can escape.

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061014

Dear Nando,

Sometimes I really wish that I would just wake up one day and realise that it was all just a dream. That I never met you, that it would still be 2011 and I would go down to the pub as usual, but without meeting this handsome Spaniard that turns out to be the Fernando Torres, who later turns out to be the love of my life. I really do wish that.

But then again, I don't regret meeting you, because you were the best thing that ever happened to me. BUT, I still wish that it wouldn't hurt this much to think about you. I wish that I could wake up with amnesia and forget everything that reminds me about you. How it felt to wake up beside you with your arms tightly wrapped around my body. How your lips felt against mine, how they perfectly fit together, like two puzzle pieces in the same puzzle. How it felt whenever you fucked me or made love to me. How it felt when you told me that you loved me. Even though all of that is the best things that ever happened to me, I still want to forget all about it, because it hurts, it hurts too god damn much to be without you.

So reason six to why you should have stayed is so that you could make me want to remember instead of wanting to forget. That every little moment with you would be something that I would treasure, something worth remembering. I would take every single moment with you to my heart and keep it there forever, because now that I've been without you for so long, I know that I can't live without you. So every single moment with you would be much more treasured than before.

Come back to me Nando, because I don't want to feel this way, I don't want to hate your memory at the same time that I love you. I only want to love you Nando. I want to remember every single thing about you with joy, how your voice sounds in the morning, how your freckles appear much more in the summer. How your eyes glow with love when you look at me. I want to be able to remember all of these things about you without breaking apart inside.

I spent another day with Cesar today, and he told me how he noticed that something was clearly wrong, that he could see it in my eyes. That they weren't smiling when my lips were. He told me that I could trust him with whatever secret I was carrying and I really want to trust him. I really want to tell him everything about you, about us. And what a ёбаный (YO-ba-neey -> fucking) муда́к (moo-DAK -> asshole) you are. But I can't, because you are not a муда́к (moo-DAK -> asshole) you are Fernando Torres, and you simply did what you thought was right, and that I can't hate you for.

But I still want to forget, so come back and make me want to remember Nando, please.

Love, always, Le

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Dedicated to my dear friend KoreaDongsaeng even though she doesn't like football that much and is a United supporter ... love you dongsaeng <3

And thank you guys so much for reading, and commenting and voting, it means so much to me and it makes my day, xx Liza