just give me a reason | f. torres

Reason 8

When I see my future, it is with you, we'll get there. I want my children to be with you, we'll get there.

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171014

Dear Nando,

I know it's silly and that it will never happen, but when I thought of my future before you left, it was with you, we were going to get happily married and have kids of our own. You are probably laughing right now about how silly and ridiculously naïve I was. And you are right, I really was.

I believed in all the bullshit and all the empty promises you gave me and now I have to face the truth, that you never wanted me that way, that your wife would always come first.

But I know that you loved me Nando, and I know you would have stayed if I just had given you one ёбаный (YO-ba-neey -> fucking) reason and you would have stayed with me. Perhaps if I had given you a ёбаный (YO-ba-neey -> fucking) reason, then we would have gotten that happy ending that I dreamt of.

But I know you dreamt about it as well, you said so yourself, that one day you would leave Olalla for good and then we would get married move back to your beloved Spain and have children of our own. Do you remember when you told me that? That you couldn't see a future without me, now you are living your life without me.

So reason number eight to why you should have stayed is because we could have gotten a happy ending if you did. You would have broken all the ties with your wife and we could have started our lives on a new page. We could have gotten engaged, gotten married, planned our future, we could have had children. We could have had everything we ever wanted. And you wouldn't have to face a future without me, and I wouldn't have to face a future without you. And everyone would have been happy, except maybe not Olalla...

So you should have stayed Nando, so that we could have lived happily ever after, with endings we only could have dreamt of. But happy ever after only exists in fairytales and movies, because if happy ever after did exist, I would still be holding you like this. I would still be able to wake up in your arms with that feeling of being safe, with that feeling of being loved. I would still be able to feel your perfect lips on mine and I would still be able to run my hands through your carefully styled hair.

Now when I see my future, it's not with you, there are no kids involved and everything is just black, empty. I need you in my life to be able to see the good things that life has to offer you, and without you I am lost, and I would have been lost right now if it wasn't for the fact that I have to writes these letters to you. And I also have Cesar to thank for still being sane, he helps me a lot you know, but he is not you.

Come back to me Nando, come back so that we can have our happy ever after, a happy ending, we both need it.

Love, always, Le

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I'm really sick of school right now, so much going with all the exams coming up and I'm really tired, in need of vacation like right now, but hey, I'm going to Barcelona in a week :D

Dedicated to Wondrxus since she gave me this awesome idea xx Liza