I'm Not the Father

09

"here, come with me," a nurse grabbed me by my arm, what the hell was this guy doing? i took off my sunglasses in confusion as he continued to pull me away.

"okay, here's what you gotta do. you gotta put these on over your clothes," he said. "here, put these on." he said as he handed me a mask and a surgical gown. "come on! you gotta hurry!" he rushed me.

"but i'm not the father!" i yelled.

---

once i was situated in a hospital room, it only felt like the contractions had gotten worse. "n-nurse, another one's coming." i whimpered.

"it's okay, deep breaths." she said. i inhaled deeply, screaming in pain as the contraction hit. my baby moving inside me and my uterus being torn apart was not the best feeling in the world, obviously.

i screamed again as i cramped up again, "god! i need some drugs."

"slow down your breathing, you're not in an aerobics class." the nurse said. "fuck my breathing!" i yelled, yet it sounded like the devil escaped my body.

"whoa, you might wanna calm down, sounds like the exorcist in here." a nurse chuckled as he walked in the room. he was covered from head to toe, even wearing a mask. i looked at him closely, he looked kind of familiar. where did that taxi driver even go?

"get me some drugs." i pleaded. his eyebrows furrowed as he shook his head, "no, no you don't want drugs."

"yes i do, i'm gonna split in two." i whimpered. "do you think you have anything for her?"

"she's almost fully dilated, by the time they take effect, she could be delivering." the nurse said. "but what about now?" the male nurse exclaimed.

"i'm waiting for the doctor, i can't do anything without his consent." the nurse sighed. the male nurse ran from the room in a hurry. i was panting, breathing in and out as best as i could to try and calm myself.

in just a few seconds, the male nurse came back with a doctor. "water break?" he asked. "half an hour ago." the nurse answered. "dilation?" the doctor asked again. "five centimetres."

"are we doing our lamaze breathing?" the doctor smiled as he looked at me. i groaned, "i've been trying so hard but i dropped out of lamaze. just please make the pain go away."

"how about some demerol? to take the edge off the contractions?" he stuck a needle into a small bottle of liquid, flicking the needle.

"yes, that'd be great," i breathed. "but give me a lot of it so it doesn't wear off during the birth. and give me a little bit more than you usually give women because i think i'm in a lot more pain than most of your patients."

he grabbed my hand, injecting the needle into the tube that was in the back of my hand, "h-how long is this going to take? make sure it's a lot-"

"there we go, there we go. this'll help." the doctor said calmly as he pushed the syringe. i stopped talking as it started taking effect immediately. i began to feel loopy and the contractions didn't bother me for long.

"t-thank you a really lot." i smiled loopily.

~~~~

"that's it, breathe." the doctor said as he was between my legs waiting for my baby. i groaned as i pushed, breathing in and out fast after a push.

the male nurse was holding onto my hand as he stood next to me. "another push marina, you can do it."

i took a deep breath as i pushed again, the pain becoming almost unbearable. tears rolled down my face from the corner of my eyes as i continued pushing.

"atta girl, one more push." the doctor said. i pushed again, screaming as the pain didn't stop. i kept breathing and pushing, tears streaming down my face uncontrollably.

i gasped in relief, opening my eyes as they were shut closed as i pushed. a ringing filled my ears as the white lights blinded me, and then i heard crying.

baby cries. i looked down by my legs, seeing the doctor holding my beautiful baby in his hands made me cry more than i already was.

"it's a boy!"

the nurses took my baby and cleaned him off, his cries filled the room as they wrapped him in a soft blanket. i wiped my tears, my hospital band rubbing against my nose. the sweat was beaded across my skin, making my hair stick to my forehead.

the nurses put my baby in my arms, i looked at him in disbelief, my own child. the joy that filled my heart was explainable. this was my son, my boy. the only boy i would ever need in my life now.

"so you're the one that's been kicking me." i smiled. his small eyes looked up at me, i caressed his soft skin with my finger. i couldn't stop smiling, i was already thinking about his future. i didn't want to let him go, i just wanted to hold him forever.

"marina!" i looked up to see michelle run into the room. "am i officially an aunt now?" she smiled. i laughed, she set her back down, tucking her hair behind her ears as she looked at my son, "can i hold him?"

i nodded my head, handing him off to her. her face softened as she took him in her arms, smiling wide as she looked at him, "do you have a name for him?" she asked. i chewed on my lip, "i can't really decide..."

she narrowed her eyes, "you can't decide?"

"i know! but, i don't know what would be a good name for him." i shrugged. "are you going to give him a korean name?" she asked.

i sighed, "yeah, my parents wouldn't let me rest if i didn't have a korean name for him."

"and? you're not gonna tell me?" she asked. i laughed, "minho. park minho is his korean name."

"well, you have one name down." she shrugged. "so then what will his main name be?" the male nurse asked as he had listened over.

i looked at him in michelle's arms, seeing what name would suit him by just looking at him, a name that will fit him.

"dominic," i said. "dominic is his name."

dominic. dominic park.

my beautiful baby boy.

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hold on, it gets crazier