Untold Happiness

3 AM Thoughts (Best Mistake)

Waking up at 3:00 am again
Thinking about running a kilometer or ten
To ease the pain I felt from within
Your memories with me are so vivid inside my brain
You loved me long enough that made me remember everything.

I can't believe it happened
I tried to stop it but I couldn't.
I'm finally broke, I have no fight left in me.
I thought I could keep this all inside of me, all bottled up.
I thought if I put it in the back of my mind it would all just go away in due time.

I wanted to talk about it.
I wanted to scream.
I wanted to yell.
I wanted to shout about it.
But all I could do was whisper,
'I'm fine.'

I was wrong, keeping all these emotions inside just got too much to handle and now here I am, broken down and defenseless.
I'm in tears, I can't hold them back any longer.
Tonight, tonight I'll cry.
I'm going to let everything out,
Everything I've been keeping deep inside.

Running while reminiscing what i did wrong
Makes me note to myself that;
I have to forgive myself
I have to forgive my past
Give people chances; but
Everyone changes and sometimes we don't realized that hurting people hurt people.

I'll never regret meeting you.
You were the best mistake I ever made.
All the tears I shed, all the time I lost, and all the overthinking I did weren't in vain because they taught me to never give my love out so freely ever again.

See, I learned to love myself with all my flaws
I learned to forgive those that have done me wrong in the past.
So, I thank you for everything you put me through.
You helped me grow.
You helped me build what I am today and remind me of the type of person I'll never be again.