My head hurts from stress.
"Don't let them see your pain", I say to myself.
"Don't make them share your depressing thoughts and feelings, it'll just make things worse."
I lay in bed at night, staring at the ceiling and silently crying. Just thinking and hoping things will be better.
How much longer can I go on like this?
How much longer till the ship I'm on sinks and I go down with it?
How much longer till the blankets I lay upon at night cover me and suffocate me in my sleep?
It's getting to the point where it hurts to wake up.
It's getting to the point where it hurts to talk.
It's getting to the point where it hurts to breathe.
Don't share my pain.
People share their pain with me, and that's ok, I'm ok...
They don't need their pain, I'll take it for myself and put it on my shoulders so they don't have to carry it around anymore.
I can take it, I just don't want them to share my pain.
Don't share my sorrows.
Don't share my feelings.
Don't share my tears, bloodshed, and hurt.
It hurts to wake up, just let me sleep for all eternity.
"Are you ok?", "do you need someone to talk to?", are you feeling good?"
Keep it bottled up, don't share my pain. "I'm ok, really. You don't need to worry about me, just tell me YOUR problems if you want, I want to take it off of your shoulders."
I put on a facade and I fake a smile and I listen to them.
I want to share how I feel too, but I don't want to hurt anyone...
Don't share my pain.
"I'm feeling better, thank you for listening."
I smile and nod, "it's not a problem, you needed to get something off of your shoulders."
Meanwhile when they're smiling I feel more weight on my shoulders and it's pulling me down. How much longer till I've taken so much pain from people that I get pulled down into hell where I can cry and weep and feel all I want without anyone even batting an eye at me.
Don't share my pain, I'll be ok... just worry about yourself, your health, your feelings, your thoughts, I don't need help...
I'm fine, just... don't share my pain...
