𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓾𝓼𝓽𝓼 | 2•5

★1e: Obsessed★

We were alone in the kitchen. Kosi had left to talk to Devon and I knew I should be focused on finding Lola and getting the fuck out of here. But Asa was with me. And I can't think straight when Asa is with me.

She was avoiding my gaze, palms, squeezing the water bottle in her hand, her sweet red lips, redder from the cold.

I remembered our argument from this afternoon.

"Don't you understand that I don't love you? That I can never?" She had shouted.

"Don't say that, Asa. I love you."

I was so desperate when I uttered those words to her. I wanted her to see what she does to me. How much she affects me.

And now, I don't even know if i regret telling her or not.

Is this love? This pain? This madness? This willingness to possess what isn't yours.

Is this love or is it sin?

And I remembered the shocked look on her face when I told her that. Beautiful face, slacking in shock...

I knew how I treated her this afternoon wasn't right.

She belonged to Kam...

She wasn't mine.

She'd never be...

But still...

"Look, I'm sorry, Asa."

I didn't even know I could be this gentle with her.

She looked at me, her beautiful face, scowling in confusion. "For?"

I took a deep breath, fight off the voices in my head, screaming at me to shut up.

"For everything. Talking to you like that in the library, it wasn't right. I had no right to do so. Especially after I acted like I hated you in the beginning. You're Kam's girl. You're my guy's girl and I'm not supposed to fall in love with you."

I had tried so hard to ignore Asa in the beginning. To despise her. To deny her existence.

All for nothing. I had fallen helplessly for her the moment I first saw her face. And no matter how hard I tried to fight it, I only fell deeper and deeper. I longed to have her... Watching from a distance.

Until it was too late. And she belonged to another.

It was something I had seen coming. But couldn't control. Like watching a train wreck, happening in front of you.

It was inevitable. The moment Kam started paying attention to her... I knew I had already lost.

She looked elsewhere, her mouth, in a stubborn scowl. "You're not in love with me, Amir."