Soul Man, a Supernatural Fanfic

Part 1 - Deal or no deal

Found on gehenna soulharvest dot com.

Chapter 1 - Deal or no deal

How To Stop All That Emo Crap & Get Whatever You Want In Life

By Dean Winchester

Funding Successful. This project exceeded all expectations and was successfully funded on September 7th. The original goal was 2,000,000.

Final Count:

9,075,030

Backers

9,075,030

Souls pledged

0

seconds to go.

Project Goals

Everybody has dreams. I mean everybody. And what's so wrong with getting what you want out of life? Not a damn thing. Like it or not, you have an expiration date. The Big Guy upstairs saw to that one, so you might as well enjoy yourself while you can. Believe me, I've been there. I wasted years of my life bawling like a bitch, worrying about other people and crap I couldn't control. I got a new lease on life a few months ago and now I couldn't be happier.

You can have whatever you want in life. And I'm just the dude who can deliver.

How? Because I'm awesome, that's how. Forget those other crowdfunding campaigns, this one won't cost you a thing. Not one thin dime.

All you have to do is hit the button on the next screen and pledge your soul to me. You do that and I guarantee that the next twelve months will be the best damn year of your life. You can party non-stop if you wanna. It's all you.

Want to win the lottery? Consider it done. Have dreams of becoming an overnight sensation, a famous rock star? Done. Wanna be the next Stephen King? That's doable. Problems with noisy neighbors? Say hello to peace and quiet. Family doesn't understand you? I've been there. Co-workers taking advantage of you on the job? You're singing to the choir with that one. Does the guy or girl you'd love to be with ignore you instead and won't give you the time of day? No problemo.

I can give you anything you want.

Let that sink in for a moment: I can give you ANYTHING you want. Anything your heart desires.

All for the price of that dumbass soul that you never use anyway.

After you make your pledge I will personally come to your house and we'll seal the deal. We can even take a selfie to mark the occasion. That's a freebie.

Now I know what you're thinking: "My soul? WTF?" Hold on, hear me out. Don't hit that big red X at the top right corner of the screen just yet.

Stop and think about this for a moment. Think about what a useless POS your soul really is. It's like your appendix. Or a toenail. What is your soul good for? Not much. Can you pay the rent with it? No. Put gas in your car with it? No. Buy groceries, a movie ticket or that latest CD/DVD?

Nope.

Nope.

Hell no.

I rest my case. The damn thing's worthless. About time you put it to good use.

Even if you don't believe in souls, even if you don't believe you have one, you want a better life or you wouldn't have clicked on this link in the first place. Let's say you don't believe a damned thing I'm saying. Fair enough. You can always think of this as a fun way to spend your time online. Harmless, right?