Farewell Atlantis

|five|

I didn't want the night to end that day. I kept on wandering when I realized there's one more shop in my neighborhood that I could check out.

I wanted to do anything just to pass the time and so I went into the shop, and wandered into the aisles filled with random items I needed and I didn't.

Eyeing up the soft drink section, I let my hands run over the cool body of the freezer and take out a can of beer. Maybe I needed it that night and was about to walk to the cash lady when two loud shots were heard.

Peeking out, I saw a man with a similar gun like mine aiming his gun at the cash lady. My heart was beating like crazy, he was yelling profanities at the body of the lady and with one last shot, he stopped.

The man was looking everywhere to see if he had been caught and I held my breath to make myself as invisible as possible. I was quiet like, the whole shop was silent, the only sound audible was the ragged breathing of the man, the shooter.

I let out a breath of relief when I realized that he was leaving but soon, my phone rang. He had heard it, and he turned around only to spot me hiding behind a shelf. My hands instinctively went to my jacket pocket, feeling the gun in it.

I didn't know what I was thinking, but it felt like the best thing to do then.

"You shouldn't have seen it" he said, moving closer aiming the gun right at me. I felt my breath getting rough and in a moment I knew I was pulling out the gun from my jacket, and shot it three times, at the man.

"Oh my God" I breathed out when the man fell on his back, blood seeping from his chest.

He wasn't moving and he wasn't breathing either.

I had killed him.

Not thinking anymore I moved to the cash register where the body of the lady was laying, he had shot her bad. I spotted the monitor connected to the CCTVs and fished out the DVD making sure my fingerprints weren't on it. Putting the DVD in the side pocket of my bag, I made it out of the shop.

I didn't stop until I spotted a dumpster and dumped my jacket which probably smelled of gunpowder.

That night, I had the longest shower. I did not take off my clothes; I just stood under the shower, and let it take control.

I took a life, I shot a man.

I couldn't accept the fact that it was in self defense, I had to get out alive but I still killed him.

I couldn't sleep that night, I was staring at my hands, not sure if they belonged to me anymore.

But still, there was this part of me which was celebrating my first kill. I was disgusted at this part, but again, it was me. Yes I regretted shooting the guy but wasn't it a revenge on behalf of the lady who owned the shop? I looked at the gun resting on my coffee table and picked it up. It had saved my life that day.

Keeping the gun closer to my head, I picked up the photograph of me and David from the same table and held it closer to my chest.

"I miss you, so, so much".

Life is such a God damn bitch and it nothing more than screwing with us.

But I knew one thing for sure, I was changing. I was transforming from the soft and happy Selene Love to a cold and fierce Selene Love.

AndI liked that part. Secretly.