Tanaka x reader one shots, short stories and headcannons!

Crying

!!Warning!! There is mention of past self harm and other mention of dark thoughts!!

Something I'm jealous about when it concerns other people... They can cry. I can't. I can try to insult myself. Hurt myself. Think about sad things... But I can never do it... Is it because I've been trying to be stronger? What is wrong with me? Crying is a natural thing right? If it is, then why the hell can't I do it...? It's not fair. I have scars, I have shit thoughts and I still can't cry...

"(y/n)! Love I'm home!" A familiar voice came from the door along with shuffling. Is Ryu home..? Yeah, he must be... Even he cries... I was in our shared bedroom, lying on my back and looking up at the ceiling as he walked in.

"(y/n)..? Are you okay..?" Tanaka cautiously walked over, dropping his bag at the foot of the bed. No... I'm not... but how am I supposed to tell you that without it breaking you..? I draped my arms over my face, not knowing how to respond.

"Um... Ryunosuke..? Y-You, don't think I'm weak or anything like that.. right..? Like... You don't think there's anything wrong with me?" I ask quietly, my body becoming less with the bed as he sat down on the bed, his back against the backboard.

"Of course not, (y/n). You're one of the strongest people I know. Emotionally and physically. There's nothing wrong with you. Talk to me. What's going on?" He said everything with the softest smile until he got to the end, it slowly fading away. That smile... it's what I live for, it's why I can get through the day. He's like my savior really... I sat up, my arms falling from my face and to my lap.

"If there's nothing wrong... Why can't I cry? I mean, you can, Suga can hell, even Daichi can... But I can't... Nothing traumatic has happened to me, I know I'm not emotionless cause I can feel the pent up anger. But I've never been able to cry at will. Or nothing has made me cry unless it was a death or I finally let out my anger... So why?" I hug myself, my hands gripping the over-sized hoodie I stole. I can feel the lump in my throat. Is this when I finally break...?

"(y/n)... I think it's because you refuse to show that emotion. You've always been people's light. You stay strong for others, but can never be weak for yourself. That anger is what's holding everything back. You're there for other people but never yourself." Tanaka explained. He fully understood what she was going through. Suga was the same way. Always being happy for others but never let himself break down the tough walls he had built from being hurt.

His words that seemed to confirm everything made my strong walls finally crack. One tear, two, three, seven... I was finally doing it. Crying... Something I usually can't do...

~Third person~

It broke Tanaka to see her cry, but he knew it was best for her. She needed it and now she needed comfort. He pulled her into his lap, cradling her and keeping her head to his chest. His chest muffled the sobs, her arms moving from around herself and up to his chest, gripping his shirt tightly.

"There you go... Let it all out, love.." He gently rubbed the (h/c) haired girl's back, reassuring her that this was okay and was going to pass soon. Her shaking hands and tensed body started to relax, the sobs becoming quieter. Crying did take a lot out of a person, which is usually why a child falls asleep after having a tantrum. All their energy was put into expressing their emotions. Don't get me wrong, some teens/adults fall asleep after crying, but they have more energy than a toddler.

Once (y/n) was fully asleep, her soft snores confirming it, he lifted her head a little, wiping the drying tears away. Her eyes were puffy and her nose was red. He shifted so that he could lay down, still keeping his arms around her.

~Bonus~

A few hours later, I woke up, now laying on my side. My head hurts... a lot. So does my throat. God, almost everything hurts. I moved my head up to see the slightly open mouth of Tanaka. I owe him pretty much everything. He's seen me at my happiest and he's now seen me at my worse. I feel bad about it... So, I'll make food! That always cheers the two of us up, right?

So, I carefully got out of bed, replacing my body with a pillow and going out of the room, leaving the door cracked open. Once I got to the kitchen, I looked at the clock as it read, 6:23 pm. Past the normal time we had dinner, but oh well. He didn't eat when he got home and I didn't eat all day.

About 35 minutes later, shuffling came from the hallway and into the kitchen, arms wrapping around my waist.

"Why are you cooking...? It's late." He spoke quietly, his voice scratchy. I could tell that all he wanted to do was go back to bed. I didn't even bother to ask him about his day earlier since I was so focused on myself. My shoulders seemed to relax as I looked away from the pan.

"Well... I wanted to make food as a thank you. For sticking with me earlier." I explained, a tired chuckle coming from the tall male.

"(y/n), you don't need to cook to thank me. I know you were already thankful for it while you were crying." Tanaka mumbled, burying his face into my neck, his thumbs making light circles on my hips. (in a calming way... nasties -.-)

The rest of the night consisted of us talking about his day and binging a show until we fell asleep again, nuzzled up together with a blanket around our laps.

Okay... So this was kind of a vent for me. But yeahhhh.. I don't cry much and I feel like crying, but whatever. I don't need to bombard you guys with my problems. I hope you enjoyed the angst-y/fluff Tanaka <3 (I orgianlly made this with Asahi on my Haikyuu one shots on Quotev. I thought Tanaka would be great for this kind of thing as well. ((unbreakablepotato on Quotev if you wanna go check that out..)) )