Us Against The World

Chapter 1

"You are now under strict observation. Everything you do will be monitored, by media, by your fellow classmates and by police."

I'm sure the public defender was talking about something important that I should have been listening to but my mind was elsewhere.

Nathaniel Carter was dead.

"This means anything you say or do, could be used against you in the prospect of a court trial."

Nathaniel was lying on the examination table in a police laboratory somewhere. His heart beat was extinct and his limbs were stationary. 

"You are not obliged to abide by the non-mandatory regulations on the form, however it is highly recommended."

His cause of death? Unknown at this point. Regardless, the public defender had said that we would never be told. Confidential information.

"Relationships, family and school related issues should be kept private until the investigation is over."

Just a week ago, Nathaniel was crowned head boy. It made sense, he was one of the most popular boys and also had striking academic success.

"Sign these forms by the deadline, or we will not be able to represent you. Without a public defender, your chances of winning this case are extremely slim."

Nathaniel was found dead in the locker room last Friday. On Monday morning, I find myself escorted to the head teacher's office alongside four other students. 

Now, Kara, Roman, Gabriel, Josh and I sit in a semi-circle around a beige desk, facing two police officers and a teacher. I don't personally know any of the other students, except for Kara, one of my closest friends. 

None of us had been told the subject of this meeting prior to this, so when the police officer's gruff voice filled the silence, words such as "murder" and "suspect" pierced our shared bubble of tension. 

Everything felt wrong. Out of balance. Like I was watching an episode of How To Get Away With Murder and had suddenly morphed into one of the wrongly accused victims. 

I didn't kill Nathaniel. I am innocent. I shouldn't be here.

I should be completing my Deputy Head Girl duties, visiting the teacher's office to collect this week's tasks. I should be in my form room, deciding this year's charity with my friends. I should be keeping my head down, working hard and staying positive, just like I had promised I would do this year.

This is not how this year was supposed to start.

A knock at the door makes my frantic thoughts dissipate.

A slender woman with shoulder-length ginger waves and a navy blazer that swallows her boney torso, enters the room. She seems nervous, picking at loose skin above her nails as she introduces herself as Emily. Our public defender.

While she sits down and rattles through what seems to be a pre-rehearsed script, her nervous energy fills the suffocating room. Why was she nervous? If I'd learnt anything at all from binging six seasons of legal drama, I knew that confidence was needed in Law. Therefore, her lack of, makes me even more anxious.

Maybe this was her first time defending five, teenaged students of colour. Which part scared her the most? The first time? Our age? Or our colour?

Did it scare her that we were bordering on the age of eighteen and our alleged punishments would worsen if she didn't solve our cases soon? Or did it scare her that we were all people of colour and our chances of being wrongly prosecuted were higher than the average white person?

Because it sure as hell scared me.

I can barely breathe while I sit in the plastic, creaking chair, stifled by the heat of the room and the suffocating thoughts that surrounded me. This summer I had finally decided which university I wanted to attend. It was competitive - the best Law courses always were - so I had vowed to myself that I would do everything and anything possible to give me the best chances.

September had started smoothly: applying for school positions, labelling clean pastel folders and setting myself up for a positive year. I did not expect that less than two weeks into my final year of Sixth Form, I would become one of the suspects of a murder case.

But that's just how life goes, isn't it?

"We will begin the investigation tomorrow. You'll each have individual and group meetings at any point in the day so be prepared."

Emily gives us each crisp white stacks of forms to be signed by our parents and offers a wane smile.

"Don't worry guys, this will be over in no time."

But I doubted that. I really did.