Blue | ✓

Chapter 11

Peculiarly, Charlotte was out of touch on Saturday, leaving Margaret to her own devices. Word had already gotten out about the new hair color. After the salon, they had gone to the mall for ice cream, and by the time they left, everyone in the whole town knew. Small world. Even smaller town.

Something dormant in Margaret came to life on Friday. A true feeling of self-worth. She felt as if she deserved the world. As f it belonged to her. She decided for the first time in forever that she didn't need anyone else. She could hang out with herself, so she did, all the while thinking "If this one change to my normal makes me feel like, what would a few more do?"

Margaret had considered staying holed up in her room all day. Her mother was still gone for reason unknown, and her dad hadn't left the office. That would leave the whole house to her for whatever she wanted to do. There as a time when that was all she wanted, but outside was tempting her. She had read last night that a new clothing store opened recently and had the nicest dresses. Margaret had never really been one for pink and fancy stuff, but that was how she was feeling in that moment.

The mall was fairly close to her house, so she decided to walk. It's the first time she's walked by herself since the incident. Every now and then she would stop and listen, checking to see if anyone was coming. Her parents still don't know. She would tell her mom, but she hasn't gotten back, and yet it still would make her feel weird to re-tell it. Would anyone believe her. Stuff like that doesn't happen around here.

Margaret shook her head to get rid of the thoughts. She felt amazing, and that's a first in a while. Why wreck it with disturbing thoughts. She thought back to the conversation the other day with Charlotte.

"You said you dated Mikel to reestablish some normal, but did you ever stop to think that maybe you should make a new one?"

Sometimes Margaret forgot why she decided to date Mikel. It was for absolutely selfish reasons and the relationship wasn't going well anyway, but she still felt like she needed to cling on. That she needed the relationship to prove to everyone that she is like them. But, ever since meeting Charlotte and seeing the way she lives, Margaret started asking herself, why try so hard?

The mall was busy meaning even more people standing around gawking. The whispers were everywhere.

"They weren't lying."

"My god, I could never."

"Is she trying to be the new girl?"

Margaret didn't let that one bother her. She was her own person, but she could understand the reason why. A cool girl with dyed hair suddenly shows up and two weeks later she dyes her hair too.

The store was gorgeous. Covered from the ceiling to the floor in beautiful dresses. It almost made Margaret want to be a princess. It was almost as if she stepped into an alternate dimension where everything sparkled and flowed. She began to picture her ideal dress, maybe for prom.

"Margo? "Margaret couldn't help but think this was the LAST thing she needed to crash her vibe.

She turned and gave a sardonic tight-lipped grin. "Hi, Carter"

"You look different."

"Yeah."

The silence gnawed at her patience.

"What do you want, Carter?"

"To talk."

Margaret shook her head. What more did she have to say? "I thought you said what you needed."

"Well I have more"

"Sorry sweetie, but I don't need it."

"I do though."

Marg roller her eyes....

"Unlike you, I said what I needed and frankly couldn't care less what you "need". And if I'm "lying" to myself, I don't want your help to find out."

"But you want hers?" The statement was accusatory.

"No- "

"Look at yourself, Margaret! I just see her."

"I see myself. I like myself."

"Only because you like her."

More silence

"You have no right to- "

"Stop using her to replace me." Carter folded her arms in front of her. Margaret thought she was joking, and then saw her face and realized she was serious.

Margaret's following laugh was more like a howl. Anyone who was not already staring because of her hair and the loud conversation, were now staring as she all but rolled on the ground in a fit of laughter. She finally caught her breathe and spoke. "Look who's lying to themselves now. These conversations must stop. I'm not interested in whatever ego building shit you're selling."

Carter shook her head. "I'm not doing this for me. I just want the best for you. I know your moms out of town and your dad is holed up in in hat office. You're lonely. I just think there's better company you could keep."

"Carter," she sighed. "I don't know what has made me your charity case when you were treating me like a leaper for a month., but I don't need it. Let me figure myself out. Without you."

Carter just stared at Margaret for a while. "I miss us. That's what I didn't say last time."

She walked away

~~~

881 words

I fucking wrote this at 2 am and edited it at 8 am, adding another 400 words. I at first wanted this done for the wattys, but fuck it. I'll have it done for next years. 

How are all of you? Cuz I can tell you that I am fucking miserable. It's okay not to be okay, especially in this time of absolute chaos. Just find the little things to celebrate. 

You know what yall could do to make me feel better? The following:
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