Even Stars Can Die

Bitter Feelings, Sickening Reminders

Tenaega stalled the engine, allowing the TIE Fighter to drift in space just outside of the moon she was about to land on, giving her time to clear her mind, process her thoughts.  Come up with a plan. 

She was about to face an entire base of Resistance members who were working to restore the New Republic.  Tenaega was confident she could handle them, but going face to face with her old master? Someone she was pretty sure she was in love with? Now that, that was what she wasn't confident she'd be able to do. 

Kylo Ren had discovered Tenaega when he first destroyed Luke Skywalker's temple and began being trained by Snoke.  He had been drawn to her, sensing her loneliness, her despair, her desire to belong: all the things he felt himself.  Both of their brokenness tied them together, making it easy for both of them to fuel their power with their combined anger, their hatred. 

Her family had abandoned her when she was just a teenager, absolutely disgusted and terrified by her power with the Force.  Luke Skywalker had also recognized her power and sought her out, wanting to train her along with his new group of students.  But her parents refused.  They hated the New Republic and anything related to the Jedi religion, having been huge supporters of the Empire and helped with the fall of the Galactic Republic. 

So when she begged them to let her train with Skywalker, they cast her out of their home and left, leaving her to fend for herself on one of the moons in the Yavin system.  For years, Tenaega had to figure out how to survive on her own, just trying to ignore the pull she felt to the Force, not having a teacher to help her and the need to find food to keep herself alive being a more pressing matter. 

Tenaega hardly hesitated when Ren showed up and offered to be her Master, the only downside being having to work for the First Order.  But at that point, she was willing to do anything, anything to survive, anything to feel like she belonged. 

And being with Kylo, that was the only time she felt like she had a place.  He was hard on her as he was with everyone, but he didn't treat her like she was diseased, like her capabilities were a hindrance.  Tenaega was able to learn quickly, able to easily surrender herself to the Darkside of the Force, something Kylo himself struggled to do.

And she never looked back, never desired to go back to where she was before, had no desire to give up her power and become weak once more. 

Before Kylo abandoned his place in the First Order, Tenaega adored him, admired his strength and capabilities, wanting to be just like him.  They worked together constantly which allowed them to build a close relationship, a bond.  But he threw it all away, all because of the Force, because of that stupid girl.  Rey. 

Tenaega took several deep, calming breaths before she started the engine of the TIE Fighter again, deciding where on the moon she should land, where she wouldn't be noticed right away.  As she entered the atmosphere, she couldn't help but feel somewhat in awe of the beautiful, luscious greenery that encased the moon, having been used to living with Hugo on Tatooine, quite the opposite of the Cademimu sector. 

But in many ways, the visual appeal of this planet reminded Tenaega of when she lived on Yavin, the surrounding environment being similar to what she once reluctantly called home. Immediately, she no longer appreciated the beauty of her surroundings, hating being reminded of all that time she spent alone, fighting to survive, desperately wanting to belong somewhere, with someone.

She moved slowly in the TIE as she landed, trying to make as little noise as possible, knowing that the ship was notorious for its loud movements.  Hesitantly, she climbed out of her seat and stood on the soft earth beneath her, thick grass almost reaching the tops of her tall boots.  Reaching back into the ship, she grabbed all the weapons her belt could hold, placing each one in its assigned place, straightening her clothes as she did so. 

And then she began to walk, ducking underneath branches of low hanging trees, slicing down vines that obstructed her path, and dodging the little animals that seemed to pop up all over the place. 

As she neared the sound of voices and people bustling around, she began to move more cautiously, paying closer attention to where she placed her feet in order to remain silent, unnoticed.  Tenaega kept her hand on top of her lightsaber secured in its holster as Resistance members slowly came into view, prepared for anyone who might see her and decide to attack. 

Crouching behind a tree, she shut her eyes and started breathing deeply again, trying to calm the anxious, burning feeling in the pit of her stomach, and rid herself of the bitter taste on her tongue.

There was no sign of him yet, the bastard, just all the people that he had left her for.  Tenaega found herself peeking around the wide tree trunk, watching the people go about their work but keeping a watchful eye for Rey or Ben, the two she came here for.

Fury bubbled up inside her when Tenaega thought of Rey, the desire to absolutely destroy her while making Ben watch was overwhelming.  Angry tears began to form in the corners of her eyes and she wiped them away furiously, knowing that crying was a sign of weakness. 

She just needed to get this over with, get rid of Rey, Ben, and as many Resistance members as she could before she could race back to her TIE Fighter and leave, leave everything behind and start a new life. 

But when he finally came into view, when she caught a glimpse of his dark hair, his tall build, and the glimmer of his deep brown eyes, Tenaega nearly forgot what she came for, trapped in a feeling she hadn't felt since Kylo left.

Since he left her.