Biker and the Ballerina | COMPLETE |

Bulimia

I stare at myself in the mirror and how much I've lost weight, loosing weight is good right?, I'm a ballerina I can't be over weight... I open my school bag and empty the contents to the ground,  I  carried the chocolate bar I bought earlier and took a large bite out of eat,  then I took another large bite and it was finished... I started craving for more and I felt proud of myself for buying sixteen of them,  I never in my life expected myself to be able to finish sixteen large chocolate bars but I did.....i sat down and waited to see if I'll throw up and I smiled when I didn't,  I stood up and took out my homework and that's when I felt a lump in my throat , I quickly ran to my bathroom and threw up all the chocolate...i sat on the toilet floor and raised my knees to my chest and weeped in frustration,  I think it's about time I tell mom about what's happening,  I slowly walk downstairs and find her making breakfast

"Tracy breakfast is ready" she said and my stomach started to growl

"Mom, I don't know what's happening to me,  i can't eat anything..." I say

"What are you talking about now Tracy? " she asked and placed her hands on her hips

"It's... I.... I.... I-"

"You what!!?, learn to speak out child!!!! "  she said in frustration

"I....i think I have bulimia "  I said with tears, her mouth dropped open and she came and stood in front of me

"But the therapy, didn't it work? " she asked

"It did,  but I think it came back, I'm not sure " I say and she furrowed her eyebrows "I'm scared mami,  I don't want to have bulimia again " I say and she bit her lip before slowly pulling me into her embrace

"Don't worry, I still have your therapists number,  we can call her and schedule an appointment"  she said and I nodded still hugging her.

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"Good news everyone, I've gotten a routine for our first performance at the competition " Mrs belle said and everyone started getting excited
"Our lead is going to be none other than Tracy playing the role of the princess " she continued and I opened my eyes in shock,  Mrs belle has been complaining about how I'm not dancing with heart so her choosing me as the lead is surprising

"Your giving this troll the lead?,  but she's so unpresentable" Chloe said angrily standing up

"I don't want to be the lead,  let chloe do it" I say,  I've been the lead many times before and being the lead means extra practice and not to mention you'll be the center of attention and with what I'm going through right now I can't handle any of that

"I didn't give you an option troy,  your dancing as the lead or your not dancing at all " mrs belle said and I groaned in defeat "Let's get started,  everyone on your feet" she said and we all stood up

"Your gonna pay for this " chloe said bitterly

"Pay for what exactly? " I ask and she glared at me before standing in her position.

  We rehearsed the routine for hours and when we finally got it Mrs belle was thrilled

"That will be it for today,  wonderful job guys.... practice and I'll see you all back here on Monday,  I need not to remind you that the competition is starting in a fee weeks,  we need to win this thing " she said and we all smiled and nodded In agreement before walking out the door, just like usual I walked behind the rest of the students

"I can't believe mrs belle chose Tracy as the lead" Louis said

"Yeah and she's like such an arrogant bitch.... I don't want to be the lead let chloe do it " Daniel said mimicking me

"She thinks she's all that when the truth is she's nothing,  I mean she's not even that pretty " marcus said and they all nodded in agreement

"Have you noticed how malnourished she's been looking" chloe said with an evil grin

"Yeah she's gotten slimmer,  I pray she dies before the competition " Daniel said bitterly

"Stop guys, I think she can hear you " amelia said fearfully

"Let her hear,  it's not like we are saying anything that's not true " chloe said and slightly turned around to look at me, I stopped in my tracks and clenched my fists while closing my eyes tightly shut... I wasn't going to let these people see me cry,  I'm not going to be like before...i walked away casually and sat on a bench and pulled out my phone and dialed my dad's number but it went straight to voicemail... I've been trying to call him through out this week but he never picked up
Then I tried calling nicky but she didn't pick up,  then I even attempted calling anna but I didn't want to bother the little girl this late at night, then I decided to call my mom

"Hey mom I'm on my way home "  I say trying to sound cheerful

"okay don't wait up for me " she sang

"your not home? " I say sadly

"Chill mom, I just went for some drinks I'll be back soon enough "  she said and it was obvious she was drunk again,  I sigh loudly and hung up not wanting to go home to an empty house,  I decided to take a walk,  visiting old places,  then I decided to stop at my favorite place... the playground, Connor,  anna and I had so much memories there,  I sat on the top of the slide and looked down and wondered why I was so afraid of coming down,  I tried sliding down but my body stopped mid way because I was to tall

"Huh?,  seemed better as a kid " I say and struggled to get off,  once I did I fell to the floor,  thank God it wasn't muddy,  it was just very dusty

"Are you serious?... even after five years your still clumsy " a deep voice said from above me and my voice was caught in my throat when I saw it was connor

"Yo what's up? " I say getting up and trying to hide my embarrassment

"Why are you here?" he asked with a straight face

"Because.... because I didn't want to go home " I say truthfully

"Why don't you wanna go home ?" he asked a little concern in his voice

"It's lonely and sad there,  I just came here to remind myself of the times I was happy " I say and he lowered his head he actually looked defenseless at my words like the more I spoke the softer his expression became

"I'll leave you to that,  have fun "  he said and started walking away

"Could you please stay,  I'm really lonely and we could swing or talk anything you want " I say sounding pathetic,  I really wanted him to stay he'll help me forget about everything that's bothering me,  he had that power

"goodnight Tracy " he said and walked away not even giving me a second glance and that's when I realized I was completely alone.

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