We Need Jesus

Chapter Twelve - God Loves You

A kind of snotty looking doctor entered the waiting room to find Amy, sprawled on the floor, looking like she could die.

'Ma'am? Ma'am!'

'Huh?', Amy sputtered, looking up to see a grey-haired man in a white lab coat.

'Are you the doctor taking care of my mom? Her name is Julie Sanders. Are you? Is she okay? Where is she? Can I go see her?', Amy rushed.

'Yes I am, and I'm afraid I have some bad news.' , The doctor, who's name tag said Brown.  He bit his lip, and Amy went into full panic mode.

'I wanna go see her!', Amy yelled. She had never acted that way to an adult before, except when she had that fight with her mom, but she was scared. Scared that she would have to live with someone else. Scared that her mom would probably... okay, she would say it, die.

Doctor Brown led Amy past a hallway of doors. Some of them were open, and Amy caught a few dizzying glimpses of injured and dying patients, their family by their sides, bawling.

Their deep and open wounds and sickly appearances made Amy looked away.

Finally, she reached the same hospital room her mom was in before. 

'I'm sorry, ma'am. Your mother is... dying. We tried everything but we couldn't save her.  She is still breathing, though. You can talk to her.' When the doctor saw the look on Amy's face, he said softly, 'I'm sorry I didn't have better news.' And then he left.

Amy broke down. This was it. Her mom would be dead. She would go and live with her aunt and cousin because she couldn't bare to stay in the big old house when her mom wasn't there. She would spend the rest of her days wishing she could have saved her mom, somehow. But she couldn't. She might as well see her mom now. 

So when she got herself together and fought back the tears, she opened the door.

............................................................................................................

Amy's mother, Julie Sanders, looked a lot worse than the last time she was in the hospital. Her skin looked pale and her face looked void of emotion.  She was taking little breaths, and her eyes were in little slits, as if she knew she was about to die an she accepted it. She probably felt it.

'Amy? Is that you?' a husky voice very unlike Julie Sanders questioned.

'Yes mom. It's me.' Amy bit her lip and forced herself to be strong for her mother. In any other situation, she would say something like, 'Mom? I'd like to say you look good, but you really don't' and giggle, but how could she do that when she knew that her mother was about to die?

'Mom. The doctor said you're dying.' Amy bit her lip harder or harder to stop herself from crying until she was sure she had injured herself but she didn't care.

Julie smiled. 'Honey, I know that. That's why I'm lying in state. Waiting for my soul to be taken. I guess the diagnosis was wrong when they said in three months, right?'

Amy couldn't help it anymore. Her eyes filled with tears and her jaw quivered. And she began to cry. How couldn't she? Here her mom was, trying to be strong for Amy, when her mom was the one that was about to die.

'Oh mom! What will I do without you?', Amy practically shouted, crying uncontrollably.

'Well, you can always go and live with your aunt Miranda.'

Amy was slightly surprised. 'I want that too. But I thought you would tell me to give home a chance or something.'

Her mom's smile vanished. 'No. I found out... your father has been cheating on me. He found another woman when he traveled for work. He didn't tell anyone he traveled.' Amy's mom's eyes filled with tears.

Amy couldn't believe it. She wondered why her dad didn't show up when Amy's mom was in the hospital before. She wondered why her dad didn't question Amy's leaving the house constantly without going to school too often. She wondered why she had that strange dream about her dad leaving...

'Mom, I had some dreams about something like that. Dad was leaving and I was begging him to stay. It was pretty traumatic.'

'Amy, I believe that was God sending you a message. He can do that to anyone.'

'Well... I never thought about it like that. This is awful. My family is tearing apart...' Amy almost started crying all over again, until her mom said,' In a book, what you just said could have an ellipsis after it.'

Amy smiled. Her mom always used the worst analogies.

'Well, our lives would make a pretty interesting book, huh?'

'Yeah. They would. Amy, just remember that... God loves you. He always has. And He always will.'

Amy cried softly. What her mom was saying just made it feel more real that she was about to die.

'I know, mom. But before you... go, I want to read a bible scripture I saw yesterday. On my phone. I read it and... I thought about you and everything that's going on.'

'Go ahead sweetheart.'

'Okay, it's John 5:24. And it says, Very truly I tell you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be judged but has crossed over from death to life. Mom, I don't know if you're holy enough to enter Heaven. I'm scared for you.'

'Well, if I see my mistakes now, I'm hoping that'll be enough.'

'I hope so.', Amy said anxiously.

Amy's mom smiled again. 'I hope so too. Can we pray together, Amy?'

'Sure, mom. I'll do it. God, king of kings, lord of lords, thank you for...life.  Thank you for my mom's life. Even when we were unbelievers, you kept us. You protected us. You gave my mom life, and you're taking it away. No grudges. No hard feelings. Well, maybe a little, but I'll get over it. Thank you for giving me such an awesome person as my mom. And even though we haven't been worshipping for that long, please let her go to Heaven. Amen.'

'Amen.'

'Goodbye mom.', Amy whispered, squeezing her mom's hand tight, her eyes brimmed with tears.

'Goodbye Amy', Julie Sanders squeezed out, fighting for breath, until she took her last one, and stopped breathing.

Amy cried and cried and cried until she was sure there were no tears left. She was pretty sad, and she regretted the times she fought with her mom, but she left the hospital knowing that there was a God, and she was sure her mom would make Heaven.