After You

|4| All I've Got

pov bucky~

Today is just like any other day for me, only last night I saw some things that I wasn't sure I needed to see.

I headed up a few levels in the tower to see Tony, Banner and Shuri, all of whom meet me in the lab every morning to work on my memory before I eat anything or talk to anyone.

"Barnes, you're late," Tony said, not even looking up from his screen.

"Overslept," I answered, looking out the window to see that the sun had barely even yet to rise. "It's still early, though."

"Yea, but staying on the schedule is important for your mental stability," Banner replied, meeting my eyes.

I sighed, "you're right, I'm sorry, it- won't happen again."

"I've been looking through your HYDRA records," Shuri started.

I winced. "God, what've you found? Something awful, I'm sure."

"Among that, I found hope," she smiled at me. "We managed to analyze the tests they performed on you and discover an alternate way to help reverse their effects."

"That being?" I wondered.

"Stim," Banner replied.

"But, you know," Tony jumped in. "For your brain."

"Won't that hurt?"

"It shouldn't," Shuri answered. "All we can do is try and see."

"I'll give anything a try, go for it," I gave her hope and her face lit up.

They hooked me up to the same brain activity device as usual to monitor my thought activity, then placed a metal hoop over my head, resting it on my forehead. "Ready?" she prepped me as I sat in the chair before them.

Banner had his clipboard and was watching intently, while Tony was monitoring the screen with the brain activity on it in case they accidentally pulled out The Winter Soldier instead of Bucky Barnes.

"As I'll ever be," I told her.

In the next instant, my head felt like it was rumbling, or perhaps vibrating slightly but not in a bad way. At first, it was nothing, I didn't feel any different from before and I hoped that maybe it was doing something under the surface that I had yet to see.

Suddenly, after a few minutes of sitting there, I felt my body start to rumble too. My eyes darted across the room and I clenched my teeth. Tony met my gaze, so he clearly was detecting some sort of activity that was increased, but I was unable to tell what that was at the moment because my mind was blank.

Then a flash of steel hit my eyes and I couldn't see Shuri or Banner or Tony anymore- it was a dark room and I was strapped down to a metal chair and there was one singular yellow light bulb hanging over me. My mouth was shut with a mouth guard holding my teeth in place and there were dozens of men lurking in the shadows around me.

My skin was crawling and I swore I was screaming. They were talking to me and to one another in Russian, I wasn't listening but they were getting angry at me. The machine I was attached to started moving, and once it attached itself to me, I felt like I was being fried.

Everything around me was fading in and out between reality and that nightmare, but when I finally opened my eyes again, Shuri was hovering over my face and I was laying on a couch a few feet from the lab area.

"Are you alright?" she asked. "Can you hear me, James?"

I nodded I could hear her, yes. "I think I'm alright," I tried to sit up.

"Don't get up yet," she ordered. "Stay down, please, you're still weak."

I didn't feel weak, but I listened to her directions without argument. "What happened?"

"You started shaking and your eyes rolled back," she answered. "We stopped the device as soon as Tony caught abnormal brain activity, but you still convulsed anyway. We got you to the couch as soon as possible and you've been laying there unconscious for about..." she checked her watch, "four minutes."

I nodded. "Do you think it helped?"

"I do," she smiled. "I think it may take time and patience still, but this seems to be better than it was before. I have hope for you, more than I had earlier."

"Thank you, Shuri, really."

"Of course, James."