After You

|10| Repatriation

pov bucky~

I felt strange all day today since dinner.

I wasn't really sure what to call the feeling, but sleeping was the only way out of it, so, I headed to my room early and fell asleep around 10:30pm.

Every hour it seemed that I would wake up, check the time, and turn over. I was tired and felt strange, but sleep wouldn't stay with me. I was losing this battle, and I didn't even know what that meant yet.

While the previous times I'd woken up had been slow and partial, this next time hit me like a brick. I sprung up from my bed, sweat dripping from my face, breathing heavily and all. I heard movement beside me, but didn't look over to see that I'd woken Steve yet, because something was happening.

I saw flashes of light, of vibrant color and of Steve- of me. I was seeing a younger me, a smaller me... a smaller him. He was laughing and I was, too, and we were kissing and my skin was on fire with passion. My cheeks were wet with tears as I fell back into reality, the taste of our lovemaking resting on my tongue ever-still.

When I turned to look at him, he was already sitting up. His face was inquisitive while mine was drenched in tears and memories.

"Stevie-" I felt my expression contorting into the ugliest crying face ever, but it was alright when I say he was crying too.

He got up and approached me. "Buck, you mean-"

"Yea," I answered, standing up to meet him halfway.

"I missed you so much," he told me as I grabbed him, pulling his lips over to mine immediately without another word.

He held my face between his palms as I dug my fingers into his waist, holding him as close as I could. Vibrations tingled from his lips to mine as he hummed, both of us completely overwhelmed with feeling. I forgot how safe he made me feel.

"I'm so sorry," I pulled slightly back and apologized.

"Don't be sorry, Bucky, it's not your fault," he kissed me again, assuring me.

"I'm going to work everyday for the rest of my life if I have to in order to keep this, I'll have you know," I added, finally starting to feel like myself again. "I'll never let myself lose this again, Steve, I can't."

He kissed me hard. "I know," his fingers ran through my hair as if to tell me that there would be time for talking tomorrow after we physically regrouped. Right now I needed to keep going. I wanted to have him again, and perhaps that was simply born of the fear that I might forget somehow overnight.

I pushed him back onto his bed and watched in satisfaction as his eyes grew wide. When I hesitated, his fingers met my bare abdomen. "I trust you," he said, as if he knew that I was about to ask that very thing.

I followed him into the covers, between the sheets, and entangled myself with him, his scent filling me with joy. We kissed for what felt like hours, but didn't care. This was the beginning of us again, a new era of romance and beauty that I couldn't wait to embark upon- tomorrow. Tonight, however, was meant to be simply he and I at our most vulnerable.

When my hands reached down and started peeling away his underwear, he went for mine, both of us removing the only thing that stood between our completely obvious boners right now. The liberation that followed as our clothes hit the ground next to the bed was incredible, and we just hugged one another for a moment so that we didn't have to look at each other yet.

When my eyes finally met his, I could see that he was crying too, something that made me less self conscious of the fact that I'd been crying the whole while myself. "Are you... ready?" I questioned, not sure if this was something he was prepared for tonight.

He blinked away the tears that he was harboring and nodded. "Yes," he kissed me. "Yes, yes," he kissed me again and again, "a hundred times yes. I've been waiting so long for this moment, the answer was never going to be anything other than yes."

I smiled to myself as my own tears dissipated, the sensation of his body molding around mine flooding my system with unimaginable amounts of desire. The look on his face was perfect as we joined fully, my body meeting his after all the preparations had been made.

"Steve," I whispered his name, he met my eyes.

"Bucky."

"I love you," I responded.

"I love you."

With that finally having been said, and the following confirmation on his part, I thrusted into him and realized how much I'd been missing out on all this time unknowingly. It was the closeness of it all, the feeling I got when we both were feeling the same heavenly feeling at the same time. It was incredible.

I kissed him throughout, my cheeks still covered in tears at different times for different reasons. One of those being more memories coming back. I thought they'd all been there, but little things were popping up in my head anew, like seemingly insignificant sexual encounters and small, romantic conversations.

I missed this.

After he finished between us, and I finished inside of him, we cleaned up and laid together for a moment. The feeling were overwhelming, because this was our first time in decades and it seemed like neither of us really knew what it would be like until now.

I chuckled to myself. "What happens now?"

"Now?" he waited a moment. "Now, you sleep in my bed with me. Now... I'm your boyfriend again, if you'll have me."

"I wouldn't want it any other way."