"I have a favor to ask",he responded. Looking more hesitant than before. Ah, so this is why he's acting all concerned. He's got an ulterior motive. I sighed softly, feeling a bit disappointed.
"Ok? Let's hear it." I answered, starting to feel annoye...
Why does it seemed like there was more to it? There was more between them?
I don't want to over think so I brushed off this unsettled feeling.
"Hey! You Krist's ex lover?", I asked in a teasing tone. But my heart is actually tearing apart.
I'm scared to hear the answer. I realized it was inappropriate to ask.
"Just kidding, man.", I added right away.
Krist gave me a sharp look. Newwiee on the other hand, looked at me and forced a smile.
"You could say that. But then again, maybe it was just me.", he sadly responded.
"New, enough!", Krist butted in with a stern voice.
"Why, Kit? Are you afraid to tell everyone about us?", Newwiee retorted, looking frustrated again.
"I said enough! There was nothing between us. You are just like a brother to me. I'm sorry if it seemed that I led you on. It wasn't my intention. Let's stop this before we say anything that would totally end our friendship.", Krist responded looking exhausted as well.
Wow! I don't know what to say. It feels like I'm watching a lovers' quarrel and I'm the third wheel. It's unbearable to watch. I gritted my teeth and clenched fist, trying all my might too stay calm. I mean, where am I going to place myself in this situation? All I know is that I'm just a pretend boyfriend and I don't really have the right to get affected moreover get jealous. He could also be considering me as just a 'brother'.
In that case, I'll act like one.
"Chill, man. Talk it out, you two. I'm a brother too", I uttered.
Trying my best to act cool and lightening up the mood. Every word that came out my mouth sent spikes to my heart. I'm bleeding inside.
"Singto! Stay out of this! You are not helping.", he snapped at me.
Damn! That's it! I'm done. My sight grew dim, my heart shattered, I can't deal with this anymore.
"Hey, I'm here as a brother if I can not be your lover! I have feelings too! If you haven't noticed it yet, then I'm telling you now! I love you, stupid!", I snapped back at him. I then walked out, away from them, just wanting to hide my idiotic self.
I don't care anymore. All I can think of right now is how painful it is to be brushed aside. It's futile to fight for him. I'm alone in this battle.
I looked back at them, they are now holding hands. As they went closer to each other and hugged, my tears fell down uncontrollably. I lost.
Almost midnight.
I arrived at the dorm after walking aimlessly for hours. I don't know how to face him now. Or how act around him. I switched on the lights to see if he was still awake but he is not home yet. (sighs)
He must be hiding from me now. Or wouldn't want to stay in one place with me anymore. I can't blame him. The way he spoke to Newwiee earlier, he could be patching things up with him. They could remain friends. Or they have already become lovers for real. They've got longer history together than with me so.. It's not gonna be a surprise. I couldn't sleep.
I took out a beer can in the ref and went out to the terrace. The sky looks beautiful decorated with sparkling stars. In contrast of my gloomy heart.
"A penny for your thought?", he said. I was a bit startled at the sudden sound coming from behind me.
"Oh. Hey!", I responded. He smiled as he held his hand up showing me that he's also holding a beer. He clinked it with mine.
"You must be lost in thoughts that you haven't noticed I have already arrived.", he said after taking a sip.
"Hmm.. ", I nodded, forcing a smile.
Silence.
I leaned my back on the railing, resting my arms on it while Krist is staring up the dark horizon.
"So, what's up? You and New, OK now?", I asked. Trying to make a conversation.
"Hmm..", he nodded, looking back at me, slightly smiling.
Damn it! Though I'm already expecting it, still it hurts a lot.
I looked back at him, nodding.
"Good", I uttered. Looking back at the horizon. Trying to avoid his gaze. Shxt! I'm such a hypocrite!
"Sing..", he became serious.
"Hmm?", I responded. Silence.
I glanced at him. He looked hesitant.
"What you said earlier.. Was that true?", he asked. I smiled bitterly.
"Hmm.. Depends on what truth you could handle.", I replied, considering how he might actually feel.
"Try me.", he said. Looking more serious than before.
"Yes. It is true. I love you, Krist. I love you the way you think I do.", I whispered sincerely.
"Well then, there's no need for me to hold back too.", he responded as he walks closer towards me. I was taken aback. Am I hearing it right? Am I understanding it right?
"What do you mean?", I asked. My heart is pounding in anticipation. He wrapped his arms around my neck, held my nape within his palm then pulled me closer.
"I love you too, cool guy.", he said before finally closing the gap between us. Oh, god! This idiot could melt me easily. My heart is full. I am overwhelmed with happiness as I reciprocated his kiss, savouring his sweet lips.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
His kiss went deeper and more passionate than before, I responded in the same manner and more. This is the sweetest kiss we've ever shared so far. I can feel that this time, it is real.. And so is our love..
