A Collection Of Michael Gray Imagines

Irish Revelations

Somehow, I had managed to catch a boat from Dublin to England. I wasn't entirely sure where it was headed specifically, I had been much more worried about getting out of here. I'd seen a woman Tuesday evening, she had confirmed my suspicions — I was pregnant.

I carried life and I was overjoyed, until I went home to my husband, bouncing on my toes, waiting to tell him the good news. Initially, I had been ecstatic; that was my first mistake. The second had been talking and the third was for being a whore.

In those moments, my heart shattered. He went out drinking and told me to be gone before he came home. I'm sure he just meant out of the house, to sleep at a friends house for a small amount of time, or something along those lines, but we'd been down this road before. The last time, he had beaten the child out of me. He didn't know it and it broke my heart even just thinking about the potential it could've had.

Of course, I chose the only thing that could guarantee a good life for my child, I fled. First I pulled the house apart looking for every penny in every corner and crevice of the house, then I packed my bag and walked in the shadows to the docks. It was daylight and I hadn't wanted anyone to see me this way. Upon reaching the boat, it took me all of my grovelling to make it onto the ship. I don't know if they felt guilty or just wanted me to shut up but they let me on the boat under the promise that I would get off wherever they docked next.

When we docked, I kept my promise, glad to be away from what I called my husband.

"Where are we, please?" I asked a younger sailor.

"Birmingham, Ma'am. Small Heath, specifically, I believe."

Nodding at him in thanks, I made my way off, following the small crowd that had emerged from within the ship with me. I had almost no idea where I needed to go. Of course, I had to figure out where I was going to sleep.

Once a week or so had passed, I had found a place to rent with the money I had fled with. I think I must've drawn some attention as a woman called Ada took a very quick liking to me. She was present, wherever I went and I was worried at first, possibly paranoid that my husband had sent someone to fetch me or do something about me, but I quickly found out that she had absolutely no idea where I'd washed up from.

She was one of the few things that kept me sane over the coming days. My life was a small mess but she helped me set everything in order again.

"Why?" I muttered to her one day, fed up with everything that I was dealing with that day.

"Because once, I was like you. Pregnant and alone; trust me, it's not fun nor is it good for the baby, whether it's been born yet or not," she diligently replied, walking past me into the cottage I was renting.

For a second, I blubbed like a fish, wondering how she had guessed my pregnancy without me giving her any clues.

She must've sensed my confused face staring into her back as she set down some food she had brought over from the market because she carried on, "I know because I've been there. It's the small things that give it away the most because you don't try to hide them as much — you simply think others won't notice if you pretend that you don't either."

She'd managed to hit the nail on the head, shocking me mostly but also making me think about some of my choices, my presumptions about her and what her family was like or what they thought of her.

"Karl and I," she began, "well, Tommy wasn't Karl's Dad's biggest fan. I was pregnant before we got married and then when we were married, it didn't last for long. Freddie... he died. Pestilence got him in the end. All of that fighting for a disease to end it."