Poems and Other Stuff

#her

This is dedicated to a person who was very near and dear to me. Recently we both parted ways. And it's been hard af for me. This is dedicated to #her. And I hope she reads this. So here it goes....

I can't deal with it no more. I love you. I miss you. I want nobody but you. But it's over. You're banned from talking to me and I'm banned from talking to you. I can't stop crying. You did that to me. It's hard to get over you. It hurts. I wish I could talk to you just once more. But why should I? I did nothing wrong. You hurt me. You hurt me bad. Most people in my situation would be mad as hell. But I can't be mad at you. I can't help but miss you. It hurt likes hell. It's only been a few days but it feels like years. I don't know if anything you told me was true. I just don't know anymore. All my trust is gone. But I feel like a piece of me is missing. One part of me wants us to be friends but the other part wants nothing to do with you. If I could just hear your voice say the most sincere apology I would be okay. Life without you is hard. I let you control me for so long that now I don't even know how to function. I can't get you out of my head. Every little special moment since the first day we met keeps coming back. If you loved me and cared about like you said you did you would be on the first plane down here to explain everything. No if ands buts about it. But I know you won't do that. I wish I could text you happy birthday but I can't. So I'll just say it here. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Right now all the good out weighs the bad. And I don't know why. That night all you cared about was me taking my pro pic of you down. I poured my heart out into our conversation that night and you just blew me off. I thought you was better than that. You were like a stranger to me that night. And that shit hurts. I'm not going to curse you out or badmouth you because you're so many miles away. So why should I? That future I pictured of us is now gone. It's done. You made that happen not me. This has been the worst last few months of my life. Are you happy? But the one thing I can't do is hate you. I can't hate you. I could never hate you. I miss you. And I hope you miss me too. And hey while I'm at it I'm sorry for what went down with you know who. I didn't mean to hurt her in the process. She hates me now and that's fine. But at least she knows the truth. I was tired of being your little secret. I was tired of being mami in private chat but De every where else. Whoever you meet in the future I hope you don't treat them like you did me. Nobody deserves to be second best and leaded on. Nobody deserves heartbreak. Nobody deserves endless tears falling from their eyes. Treat the next person you're with right. Make them one of your main priorities. And whatever you do make sure you that they hear your voice and see your face. Because sometimes that's all I needed. I just needed for you to say it would be okay. I just needed to see and hear you say it. One more thing please don't give up on life. You're still young. Enjoy life and surround yourself with people who love and care about you. Maybe one day we'll meet again. Just maybe. And maybe you'll say and do everything I wanted you to. I love you and I wish you nothing but the best. <3

~Deja~