𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒 𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 || rini au

forever

ricky's pov

ew. ew. ew. ew. ew. ew. ew. ew.

why on earth did i do that? no seriously, i have no idea what could have possibly been going through my head last night.

ugh.

i feel like i need to tell someone. but who? red, maybe? i open my phone to call him, but i just can't bring myself to do it. if i tell someone then that means that it actually, officially happened. if i don't tell anyone and just pretend that it didn't happen, then it didn't. right?

except for the fact that nini knows that it happened.

i just won't ever talk to or about her again. who's nini? no idea! there. it didn't happen.

"hey, ricky! we need to talk!"

starting now.

i've been avoiding her all day, but now it's the end of the day and i'm at my locker gathering my things and i can't run from her.

"what do you want?" i say as i open my locker, trying not to make eye contact with her.

"are we gonna talk about-"

"there's nothing to talk about, nina."

"just admit that that kiss meant something to you and we can move on with our lives, separately."

she did not just say that.

"you're joking, right? it was a nothing kiss. it was like kissing a cousin! it didn't mean anything! blecch!"

"don't say blecch!"

"blecch!"

"come on, ricky! i'm not disgusting! it's not an unheard of thought. i think you can admit that it meant something to you. god, you can be so stubborn sometimes!"

"oh, so it meant something to you?" i scoff.

"if you think some stupid, terrible kiss-"

"oh, so you're thinking about it right now!"

"i am not! this is pointless. i'm just gonna walk away-" nini says, turning around to leave.

"you're running away? because it meant something to you!" she whips her head around in frustration as i slam my locker shut to catch up with her.

"not at all! ricky, you liked kissing me! it's fine to say that. i'm not on my knee asking you to marry me; it was a nice kiss! it was like a freaking fairytale-movie kiss, and it was the best kiss of your life!"

more like only kiss. why did it have to be with her? and no, i did not enjoy that kiss. nope. not at all.

okay, fine!

i guess i kind of maybe sort of liked it? just for a second. only because i forgot it was nini and we were so caught up in the moment. i'm not, like, in love with her or anything, it was just a stupid kiss. i still hate her.

"are you serious?! you know what, nini? i'll admit it when you admit it." she scoffs, taken aback at my stubbornness.

"jesus, you're like a child!"

"just admit you've thought about it!" at this point, i'm just trying to annoy her. it's actually kind of fun.

"you know what, ricky? yes! i've thought about it. i've thought about you and me for FIVE MINUTES and then i realized it would never, ever work between us!"

"glad we agree on something."

"good."

"great."

"wonderful."

"just out of curiosity, why do you think that?!"

"because you drive me absolutely CRAZY, bowen! i hate you!!" she yells. wow. i wasn't expecting her to just come out and say it.

"you know what, right back at ya, sal-robs! i hate you too! every single thing about you!" i shout as she storms away. that didn't go well.

nini's pov

ugh. why does he have to be like this? i just try to get a simple explanation for what happened saturday night, and it ends in a huge fight. he's ricky, after all. i don't know what i was expecting to happen anyways, i really should've seen this coming. i'm just gonna forget about what happened and move on.

the next morning

i can't forget about what happened. what went down in the pool with ricky will not stop playing over and over again in my mind. i can't sleep, i can't eat, and i can't think. i can't do anything! i've never felt like this before, and i don't know what this feeling is. it's probably hate. no, it's definitely hate. that total makes sense. i pull out my notebook in class and flip to the bottom.

#45 - broken record

how else am i supposed to put it into words?! i'm not freaking virginia woolf! i don't know what else to say! once the bell rings, i head back to my locker to gather my things. as i'm grabbing my physics textbook, something catches my eye in my tiny magnetic locker mirror. e.j caswell.

"hey, nini?"

"why are you talking to me, E.J?"

"i'm just really sorry about what happened at my party. i don't remember doing it, but bowen made it sound pretty-"

"wait, bowen? as in ricky bowen?"

"yeah, he came up to me after lunch yesterday and told me off for what i did. he said not to touch you or talk to you again, and i felt really bad. i mean, i feel really bad. but given the chance, i would definitely do it again. wait, shit! i mean i would definitely not do it again! anyways, nini, you seem really cool, and i just hope you can forgive me," he tells me. why on god's great earth would richard bowen ever do that? he hates me!

"it's fine, e.j," i say. it's really not fine, i just really don't want to deal with this right now. luckily he believes me, and rushes off to class after exchanging phone numbers with me. his apology seemed sort of genuine, but nothing's really changed. ricky's the only one who knows about what happened that night, and i'd like to keep it that way.