Love Hurts {Austin Mahone and Justin Bieber}

Chapter 18

Carter's POV:
Its 3:00 in the morning and i haven't slept. I've been up the whole time thinking about Clara. About how beautiful, kind, caring and forgiving she was. How she helped me when i was at my lowest points. I also thought about that big fight we had at the beach but even though i was an ass she still forgave me. The time i slept in the hallway when we were in the hotel because she didn't want to let me in. The way she laughed when we scared Sarah and Justin. The way she would cuddle next to me when she got cold at night. Our first kiss that day by the waterfall. When she defended me at IHop. The day she met mom and i found them crying. I thought about everything i had ever done with her. It made me sad to think that those would be the only memories i would have of her. That she was gone and i will never hear her laugh again. That she wont be here to sleep with me at night. I don't even know what im doing here anymore. Clara was the only reason i wanted to live. She was the only reason i wanted to get up in the morning. The only reason i ever smiled. It breaks my heart to think that she died scared and alone. That i wasn't there to tell her everything was going to be alright like she did to me. How she probably hates me for not being there for her. I literally haven't stopped crying. I tried to stop but then i would remember her beautiful smile and i would cry about how i will never see it again. I have to call mom and tell her. Im sure she will answer even though its 3:00 in the morning. (C=Carter, M=Michele)

M= Hello?

C= Mom, i really need you

M= Whats wrong Carter? Why are you crying?

C= Clara died mom... She died and i couldnt say goodbye to her.

M= Oh sweetie. What happened?

C= Another gang wanted us to give them something so they kidnapped them. They gave us some time but it was too late . T-they raped her and beat her to death mom. The worst part is that it was too late. When i got there she was already dead. The love of my life died mom, im all alone.

M= Don't ever say that. You're not alone. You have Justin, Sarah and you have me. Im sorry you have to go through this Carter but you have to stay strong. Clara would want you to move on.

C= I-i cant mom. She means too much to me.

M= I know how you feel Carter. I went through the same with your father but you have to remember she is in a better place. A place where she doesn't have to worry about anything.

C= No! She has to be here with me mom. She was my world, my everything, without her im nothing.

M= Carter she's gone and there's nothing we can do about it.

C= No she's not gone. She promised she wouldn't. She never broke promises...unlike me.

M= Carter i know its hard but don't worry. Everything is going to be alright.

C=WHY DOES EVERYBODY KEEP SAYING THAT? ITS NOT GOING TO BE OKAY! WITHOUT HER IM NOT OKAY!

(End of call)

I cant live without her. Why doesn't anyone understand me? The only person that ever did was Clara and now she's gone. I cant do this. I grabbed my phone and went to notes. Once again i was going to try what i once failed. Something caught my eye. One of the notes said 'Don't'. I opened it and read
"Carter, you're probably wondering what this is. I knew you would eventually try to do it again. I also knew you would write it here because you're too lazy to get pen and paper. I don't know what happened or why im not with you but i want to tell you a couple of things. I have never been so happy with anyone in my life. Yes, we have had some rough times and a couple of fights but that doesn't matter. You somehow manage to always put a smile on my face. Wether its saying something funny or stupid, tickling me or just being the big dork you are. I love how when i wake up im never alone. The way you smile and the way you laugh. I love that you don't know how to cook but still try just for me. The way you lightly snore when you sleep. I love when you hold me tightly and are protective of me even when you aren't awake. I love your hazel eyes. Your curly hair, even though you hate it. How you cross your arms over your chest when you're mad without you even knowing. I love how you opened up to me that night. It made me realize how much you've gone through.The list goes on and on. I want to tell you that you should keep your promises and not break them so much. I want you to never say anything to Justin that could hurt him because he's the person that will never leave your side. Just like me and Sarah. I need you to deal with the situations because you seem to think that suicide is the answer to everything and its not. I want you to know you are NOT alone and that you will never be. You have Justin and Michele. I would say me too but again i don't know if i left or if something happened. If something did happen i don't want you to blame it on yourself. Whatever it was im sure it wasn't your fault. I love you Carter. Please stay strong for me

-Clara <3 "
I had a small smile on my face. It felt good to know that she loved me and that she really knew me. That smile soon faded when i remembered everything. She knew i would try to do this again. Another thing i love about her is that she corrected me. She always said what was best for me. Once again she saved me. Only this time she saved me without being here. It still makes me sad to know that i couldn't say goodbye. That last peck she gave me before she left would be our last kiss. That morning would be the last time i will wake up next to her. She means so much to me. She was my first love and she will be the only person i will ever love. Nothing is ever going to change that. I could never love someone as much as i loved her but not even that love could save her. I couldn't save her. She's gone now and this time she's not coming back.

A/N
Hi! I got the inspiration. Its pretty much 3:00 a.m. where i live. I have trouble falling asleep and i also have night terrors. So its kinda normal for me to be up this late. Imma keep writing the next chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed chapter 18.