It's Just Us [🗸]

our making-up

heyy, i appreciate all of you

***

JAMES

My feet move faster than my mind does, out of the school until I'm pressing myself against the wall. My heart is racing, because everything I said at Unspoken Voices is ringing through my mind over and over again.

I think I just inadvertently came out.

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

I remember the seconds after I'd finished my poem. Everyone went crazy. It was fucking chaos. I was getting down the stage and people were grilling me with questions, hovering around me, shouting out everything and anything.

Are you gay?

Who's your boyfriend?

Do you have a boyfriend?

Are you actually gay, though?

I had to get out of there.

So now, I'm pressed against the school wall, letting out slow exhales.

 I can't believe I just did that.

I can't tell if I regret it or not. It felt incredible, speaking out there. Speaking out for people like me. For once I wasn't unsure, I wasn't hiding.

It was amazing, but also the biggest fucking risk I've ever taken in my life.

I hear the gentle pad of footsteps and shut my eyes closed, pressing harder against the wall, praying that whoever is coming won't find me. My breaths quicken when the footsteps continue.

"J.J."

My heart skips.

Because he's there, decked out in a white t-shirt, a denim jacket, and black jeans for the first time in his life. His hair is windswept and pale in the darkness, and one hand is tucked into the pocket of his jeans, ever so casually.

"You're wearing jeans," Is all I can say after staring at him for way too long.

He kicks at the floor with his Vans, his lips quirking into a half grin. 

"Yeah," another kick. "I don't think sweats are allowed for Unspoken Voices... so, I'm stuck with jeans."

"They work for you," I say, mirroring his half smile.

"Maybe I'll wear them more often," he replies, and something about that soft look in his eyes makes my heart skip again.

Silence. He's a couple feet away from me, leaning against the wall.

"You were..." he starts, letting out an awkward chuckle, "you were fucking outstanding."

My lips quirk upwards before they fall. A pause as I chew on my bottom lip. "I wasn't sure you were coming."