Mobile Legends Anthology

If I Can Be Her (Hayabusa|Kagura)

I only had my eyes on one man. I wanted to run my fingers through his dark hair that seemed soft and fluffy. I wanted to see my reflection on his hazelnut-colored eyes. I wanted to hold his hand that seemed to make me feel safe and at ease.

But all those things shall remain a dream to me. Early in the morning, even before the sun rises on the east, I would always see Hayabusa and Hanabi at the training ground. They grew up together; eating meals everyday, casually talking about things, exchanging sweet smiles, good mornings, good nights and good evenings and going on missions together, they had done those.

Some times, I cannot help but be envious of Hanabi. There were days I wished that I was born to be a marksman who wielded the Higanbana. I wished to have her hair that was of the same color as the night. I wished to have those ocean blue eyes that Hayabusa always looked at. I wished I was born to be Hanabi.

"Kagura!"

I got back to my senses when I heard Hanabi's voice. I looked ahead and saw her running towards me so I faked a smile and waved at her.

"Are you done training?" I asked. She nodded in response as she wiped off the sweat from her forehead. I could not help but stare at her from head to toe, especially at her figure which she effortlessly maintained without forcing herself to be on a diet. Unlike me, I needed to lessen the amount of food I eat and avoid too much sweets just to be slim.

"So I was thinking," she said which made me look back at her eyes, "Hayabusa and the others want to have dinner tonight. Of course, you have to come."

I paused. I did not know what to say. As far as I could remember, the last time we had dinner together was not really a good memory because everyone kept on pairing Hayabusa and Hanabi together. It was so uncomfortable for me, especially when Hanabi noticed my uneasiness.

"I..."

Hanabi held both of my hands and flashed a smile at me with her eyes pleading me to come as well. I guess I'd have to endure again.

"I will come," I responded with a low tone of voice. She raised her fist on the air as if she won in a battle.

Patting me on the shoulder, she said, "See you tonight."

I heaved out a heavy sigh. What if they suddenly announce their relationship? Can I still endure? Would I be strong enough to pretend that everything is okay?

Before the time of the dinner, I took my time to fix myself. Even though I had the slightest chance to be noticed by Hayabusa, I still wanted to look my best when I am in front of him. At least he would not think low of me.

"Kagura! C'mon!"

I took one last glance on the mirror and gave myself a nod before running downstairs to see Hanabi. I was a bit taken aback of her getup since she seldom wears some beautiful hairpins and a yukata. She looked prettier than I was, I felt embarrassed. Yet I still smiled at her as we went to the restaurant where the others were waiting.

Entering, everyone looked at our direction and I only looked down on the floor as they complimented Hanabi. It was as if I was just her shadow but I did not mind it since I got used to it. She always shined wherever we go so I was not surprised at all.

We all took our seats and just like what I had expected, Hayabusa and Hanabi were seating beside each other just across me. How am I supposed to keep my cool tonight? They were just in front of me and I hated to say it myself but they looked good together.

"Hey, Hanabi, tell us now," one of our friends said, "why did you wear a yukata today? Did you and Hayabusa finally become lovers?"

Everyone started teasing them again and all I could do was smile while staring at them. Hanabi seemed ecstatic and Hayabusa, just as expected, he seemed a bit shy about it. Was this the end of the line for me? Should I just give up even without confessing?

"Why would I dress up for this lame guy?" Hanabi jested. If I can be her, would Hayabusa be also happy just like he is today?

"Who are you calling lame? If I am right, you have fallen hard in love with me," Hayabusa responded. If I can be Hanabi, would he react like this as well?

"Err... You're giving me goosebumps, idiot!" Hanabi slapped Hayabusa's back which made him yelp in pain and glare at her.

"Hanabi," I suddenly called out. I can no longer stay quiet. Now that they're in a relationship, I should at least speak what I truly felt.

Everyone looked at me and I tried so hard not to pay much attention to the others.

"Why do you always look so perfect? Wherever you go, everyone would look at you. Even without doing anything, they would look up to you. You are always good at everything you do. And why do you look beautiful even when you won't wear makeup? And can't I be like you?!"

I was shocked at myself. I just shouted at Hanabi who did not do anything wrong. I was looking like the villain at the moment but was it wrong to say those thoughts out loud? I had always kept them inside me, can't I say them even once?

Hanabi was staring back at me, shock was plastered all over her face and everyone was quiet. Since I already started it, might as well finish this and speak the rest of my mind.

"Hanabi, why can't I be you? I also want to be Hayabusa's lover," I added.

She was about to open her mouth, probably to speak, but a red-haired guy just came, pulled her chair and carried her in his arms.

"Missy, this woman is mine," the newcomer claimed. When I looked at Hanabi, it was the very first time I saw her face beet red, even her ears were scarlet while her arms were wrapped around the guy's neck. I was speechless as I watched them heading towards the exit but they suddenly halted and Hanabi called me out.

"Kagura! You must know, I ain't the type of woman Hayabusa likes. He prefers cute girls!" she said before winking at me which confused me even more.

What was going on? I thought she was in a relationship with Hayabusa. And what did she mean by cute girls? Am I wrong to think that Hayabusa might have never felt romantic feelings towards Hanabi?

"Man up now, Hayabusa! Stop using Hanabi to make her jealous," one of them suddenly said before they took their leave until only Hayabusa and I were left. Make me jealous? Wait, what?! I cannot comprehend on what was happening.

I looked at him and he held the back of his neck before shifting his gaze at me.

"Would you like to have a walk?" he asked with a rather awkward smile.

I gulped and asked, "Are you asking me out?"

He suddenly looked down, his hand still holding the back of his neck and nodded a few times. Seeing his ears turning red, the edges of my lips curved for a smile.

Is this actually happening?! Does he truly like me and not Hanabi?! Have I been wrong all this time?!

"Kagura, will you go out with me?" he asked, meeting with my gaze yet again. I jumped on him and wrapped my arms around him.

"Yes!"

I need not to become Hanabi just be noticed and liked by him. All I needed was to be me and only me, still he noticed me. I was more than happy to be the Kagura he liked.