Freedom Ignited

6; too much talking

IGNATIUS' POV

Its been two days since the boys left and I've never felt more lonely. Cali notices, her sideways glances at me while we work under the hood of our car saying everything she's not.

I haven't asked any of my family what they thought about my friends, whether that was because I didn't want to hear the answer or because I already knew, I had no clue. Either reason was enough to make me shut my mouth.

We've been texting in our group chat nonstop, the buzzing staying a constant in my front pocket.

Right now though my phone stayed quiet as Cali and I worked outside before I had to start my shift. The bookstore had been slow, as usual, allowing me to actually start reading the material in the GED workbook Maggie let me have.

There were only a couple more day's until we went to see Oz, and the pit of nerves in my stomach had done anything but settle since we made the plans. I felt guilty, above everything else. Guilty because I'm the reason he hasn't gotten out sooner.

Guilty because I get to be free and he doesn't. Everytime I thought about him it was like a knife to the gut, and trust me, I know what that feels like. It's not pretty.

I glanced at the dusty watch fastened to my wrist, "I've gotta get dressed," I told Cali, kissing her forehead. Ignoring the frown on her face was easier than it should've been.

I traded my basketball shorts for a pair of dark sweatpants, since Maggie didn't care as long as I didn't look like a gangbanger. Because that's bad for business. My shirt was slipped off my head and tossed into the hamper while I dug through my drawers for the stretched out army green fabric I had worn once this week already.

"Are you ever gonna tell me what happened to you in there?" I swiveled my head back towards the door to see Adrian leaning against the frame. I didn't even hear it open. I didn't even know he was home.

"No." I finally found the shirt and hurriedly slipped it onto my body. Even being shirtless alone was an issue, around other people, especially people who don't know the story, it was nearly impossible for my heartbeat to stay at it's steady pace.

"Iggy come on, we're brothers," He sounds frustrated. Maybe I would feel the same way if I was in his shoes, but the self-preservation instinct was stronger than anything else. Still.

"Drop it, Adrian." I folded the clothes I had thrown on my bed and put them back in the drawers neatly to restore my room back to it's clean state.

"I heard you, the other night on the porch," I felt my heart drop out of my Goddamn ass. Questions started racing through my head: How much did he hear? What is he thinking right now? Does he want me to get out of the house? I would want me out of the house.

"I've seen your scars, the burns on your shoulder, Iggy, why can't you just tell me what happened?" I shut my drawers quietly before turning around and leaning against him. The pain in his eyes was real, like what I saw when I looked into Casey's.

"You don't need to know what they did, there's no point, okay?" I grabbed my wallet from the nightstand and swiftly moved out of the room without another word.

"I'm your brother, of course I need to know." I hated that when I thought of the word 'brother', he wasn't the first thing that popped into my mind. I hated that I felt absolutely no obligation to him when he said it. I hated that it meant nothing when it came out of his mouth.

"I need to go."

I could lie and say it was because I had a shift starting in half an hour, that would definitely be easier to tell myself. Opening up made you vulnerable; vulnerable got you killed, or worse, got you more time in that shithole I was in for the last two years. It wasn't worth it. The part of myself that was easy-going and told my family everything was long gone, and I didn't have faith in it coming back.