Addicted To You

chapter 9

"Did anything happen today Mr wills?" I asked him.
"Yes, today is my mom's birthday. I called her to wish. She received the call and when I wished her she was really surprised I am alive. She told me she assumed I am dead and was relaxed but now it really hurts her to know the devil like me is alive. She wished if I were dead she would have been  very happy. She told me jerk, pervert, criminal, monster, a deadbeat lowlife, piece of shit, garbage, rubbish and then hung up on me. Sarah I can't take it anymore, I want to die Sarah I don't want to live anymore" he kept saying it and cried so much. I didn't have any other option so I cut him off by pressing my lips to his and kept kissing him until he calmed down. Then I told him," listen to me, you are not a jerk, not a piece of shit, not any of those which they called you. You are very kindhearted, very nice, caring and a helpful person. Don't ever dare to say that you will end your life. Don't let the lie to ruin you. Think about the fellow students of the school who wait for you to teach them. They need you, I need you. I have been never so happy until I met you. I will tell you one thing, I will learn maths only from you and from no one else. If you do anything bad to yourself I will give up on studies. So if you really care about me then stay with me. If you do anything reckless I will also end my life." Before I could continue he stopped me by putting his finger on my lips,"shh don't ever say that Sarah, I promise I will never leave you I will forget everything from the past. I will always help you. But please don't leave me I don't have anyone to trust except you." He pleaded me." Mr wills, I will never leave you. Seeing you hurt and crying like this torns and shatters my heart into pieces."  I kissed him once again. An idea came to my mind,
I removed the pillow and sat in that place and patted my lap,"Mr wills come on keep your head here." He obeyed me and I caressed his head and ran my fingers through his hair to comfort him. Very soon he fell into a deep sleep. I continued that for the whole night and didn't sleep for a single minute.
It was morning now almost 8 AM, he slowly opened his eyes. Suddenly he jumped up with a shocked expression, "Sarah, you didn't sleep the whole night!!"
"Anything for you sir" I smiled sweetly.
"Please call me Jason when we are alone."
"As you wish, Jason I am going to prepare breakfast."
"Wait Sarah you were awake the whole night have some rest let me cook the breakfast. Please don't deny."
Well I had nothing to say, so I agreed. He cooked pancakes and it was delicious. Well school was off today because some workers would come for maintenance of the school.
"Mr wills, would you help me in doing maths?"
"First of all please call me Jason and yes of course I will help you "
I brought the book and copy and we sat down on the couch. I did many sums that day. I couldn't do a few. He explained me everything. It was almost 12.30 PM.
"Mr wills, I had solved a few problems from a book in the library. I thought to tell you but forgot somehow. Will you please check whether the answers are correct?"
"Sure dear." I handed him the copy and he began checking. While he was doing so I kept staring at him. I was thinking how should I tell my feelings to him. Will he be with me? Or dump me like a trash? Does he really love me or just likes as a good student? No actually if he only liked as a student he couldn't have opened up to me last night. Well what should I do? Is this feeling OK? Is it healthy? Do I really love him or like him or just obsessed? No no I am not obsessed.. He is my teacher how can I think about us being together but in the last few weeks our relationship was not being just a student and teacher something more than that. Then what should I do should I confess him?...
" Ufff I don't know anything... I am fucking crazy " I said out loud. He looked at me shocked, " Sarah are you alright?"
"No I am not Jason. I am really confused rather very confused about something and I can't find any answers."
"What is it you can always tell me."
"Yes well Jason have you checked those?"
"Yeah, those are all correct. Now tell me what is it that bothers you?"
"Well I will tell you but now I am feeling tired let's play never had I ever."
"I played it long ago will you remind me the rules once again Sarah?"
"Yes, well each of us has to say a thing which we have never done and if the other one has done it then he or she has to fold one finger. Each gets five turns. After that the one with maximum number of folded fingers loses. The winner gets to ask a question or ask to do something to the loser. That's the rule."
"Yeah I remember now. Let's play. You start."
I started," never have I ever eaten a banana. "
He  folded one finger and said, " never have I ever beaten someone." This time I folded my one finger. His eyes were widened," you have beaten someone? "
" no almost everyone in school and neighborhood. " I smirked
" now my turn, never have I ever read Hamlet." He folded his finger and said," never have I ever cheated in an exam." I also never cheated." Never have I ever watched The Nun movie." He folded his finger and I smiled wickedly. He said," never have I ever got drunk." I folded my finger reluctantly and said," never have I ever thought of being a teacher." He folded his finger(4th) and said," never have I ever disrespected any woman." I also never did that...and said," never have I ever had sex." He didn't fold any finger and said," never have I ever read the 50 shades trilogy." I have also never read.
" I won." I declared.
" I can see that. Tell me what to do or asked me anything you like."
" hmm OK so do whatever you would have done now if we were not playing."
He thought for a second and replied, "I would have asked you to share your problem with me. Please tell me what's bothering you so much?"
" Mr wills I mean Jason its you"
"What me? Did I do something wrong?"
" no I mean I think I like you, no please don't think it's a stupid crush because its not. Do you think we have just a student teacher relation? Its something more than that."
He looked thoughtful then answered, " look Sarah, its more because I am the closest friend of your sister's fiance and I know I was also a little intimate with you a few times, I am sorry Sarah I didn't mean anything else its just we are like good friends, so I hugged you a few times. When you were close to me I thought it was just like friends I didn't know you had feelings for me...I didn't try to do anything on purpose that you will feel different.. I am sorry Sarah its completely my fault, you are a young teenage girl its normal you will fancy me or something but I should have been more careful I am sorry Sarah."
I was feeling lost, " Mr wills do you really not like me at all? Do you hate me? Then why did you tell me your history last night? Why did you give me explanation of scolding another student by pulling it into your lap? Just like that..."
" I don't hate you Sarah. You are a good girl good student. Every teacher likes you. I told you my history because you have become like a friend to me, a good friend and sorry about the lap I told you I became a little bit more intimate sometimes. I am extremely sorry for that. Besides I am 8 years older than you. You may say age is just a number but see the reality Sarah. Today I am also young. But after a few years when you will be of my age you will fall for other guys. I will not be your attraction any more. You will face more of the outside world meet new people. Then when I will become a few years older. You will still be young and gorgeous. If we are in a relationship, it will look very bad an old man dating a young girl. Moreover you may like someone of your age then and you will not like me anymore. It will hurt both of us. Sarah please calm down and think rationally. You are a good girl you will definitely understand. "
I should have known that. I was falling for him just to get hurt. I should have known liking him will not do any good.
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