I hate myself 🙃

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Nothing much is going on right now, I'm pretty sure my dad is racist but I don't want to believe that. Just the normal stuff curling into a blanket burrito and feeling sad and then when I'm around family hiding my emotions and pretending everything is fine. Because maybe if I make everyone else think I'm fine I will convince myself as well. If I bury my emotions deep enough I won't feel them anymore and I can go about my life all like normal. I hate it and I am barely holding on

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