ACT LIKE YOU LOVE ME

Chapter 13 - You Deserve a Lover

"You deserve a lover who wants you dishevelled, with

everything and all the reasons that wake you up in a

haste and the demons that won't let you sleep. You

deserve a lover who makes you feel safe, who can

consume this world whole if he walks hand in hand

with you; someone who believes that his embraces are

a perfect match with your skin. You deserve a lover

who wants to dance with you, who goes to paradise

every time he looks into your eyes and never gets tired

of studying your expressions. You deserve a lover who

listens when you sing, who supports you when you feel

shame and respects your freedom; who flies with you

and isn't afraid to fall. You deserve a lover who takes

away the lies and brings you hope, coffee and poetry."

(Frida Kahlo)

"He has already walked the carpet, he's inside."

Emma, her stylist, was making subtle adjustments before she walked the red carpet. She knew that something had happened between Camila and Shawn, and not just because of the rumours that had been running rife for the past couple of weeks. She had mentioned to her that she didn't appear to be her normal happy self, and asked her if she was OK. She had been on edge as it was and the kind query had been enough to break her. It took the whole make-up team to disguise the ravages and now here she was, feeling sick, her heart pounding with nerves. She had left it as late as she could, but it seemed that Shawn had done the same thing, he had gone through just before her.

"Camila, Camila, have you and Shawn broken up?" They were calling things out to her and she ignored then and posed as best she could. Her publicist rushed her through as quickly as possible. She wasn't performing, thank goodness, and neither was Shawn, but that also meant that he would be in the audience the whole time. Roger had made sure they weren't seated near to each other, but it was going to be awkward. She was seated next to Taylor and Selena and greeted them with hugs and kisses. Taylor looked concerned, she knew what was going on, or the official version anyway, and she told Camila she was worried about both she and Shawn. She said would never have picked this to have happened and she still didn't believe it was over, not after having seen them both. She said they looked terrible, she could see they were both putting on brave faces but she knew them both and she told Camila what she thought too, and urged her to talk to him. Camila knew if she did, that she wouldn't be able to stop herself from giving in, and the results of the break up were already showing themselves on social media and festival ticket sales so she knew she had done the right thing.

The musical acts were stellar, some absolute legends, some incredible duets and the awards were full of surprises, including a win for Song of the Summer for her, and Male Artist of the Year for Shawn. As soon as the televised ceremony was over, she rushed out to the car she'd booked, and went straight home. She didn't want to answer any questions or receive any pitying looks, and she especially didn't want to end up at the same party as Shawn, so it was safer not to go at all. She was hungry, as she always was after a ceremony. She could never eat the day of the event, sometimes not the day before either, but once it was over she just wanted something Mexican or Cuban, comfort food that reminded her of home. She had the driver stop and bought something, when she got home she intended to go in and eat and try to wind down. She changed out of her dress and removed her makeup quickly, pulling her hair up into a bun and slipping into sweats. She put a romantic comedy on Netflix and poured a glass of wine and sat to eat her food. No sooner had she done so than there was a knock at the door. Her heart was thumping, she knew who it was. She wished she had been able to convince her mother to come to LA with her, but Sofi had a recital and originally she was supposed to be with Shawn so her parents had made plans to go, they couldn't back out now. She stood and opened the door.