I Do.

Chapter Two

Dean's POV

"I love you, Cas.. It's gonna be okay. I'm not gonna let you - " I was interrupted by the doctor pushing me out of the room. As I was going out three nurses with a cardiac defibrillator were going in. Oh god, no. No no no. They close the door and put my ear to it, trying to listen to the commotion going on inside. After listening for a few moments I hear someone yell, "It's slowing down, we're gonna lose him!". I step away from the door and walk to the waiting room. Nobody is in here. I sit on one of the chairs and start crying. I cry a lot it seems. I pull the hood of my hoodie I have on onto my head. I put my feet on the edge of the chair and sob for a few moments. "We'll still love each other forever and always.." I try to sing through the tears. "Th-through the good and the bad and the ugly.." I continue. I sniff and wipe my eyes so more tears can fall. I pick up on the last part of the song, the part that's going through my mind. The part I never really sing. "She finishes the vows but the beeps are getting too slow, hi-his voice is almost too low.. As - as he says I love you fo-forever.." I pause, take a deep breath in and sniff. Then continue, "forever and always.. Pl-please just remember.. Even if I'm not there.. I'll always love you.. Forever and always.." I whisper the last three words and then break into a full-body sob. This is it. This is the end. I bite the inside of my cheeks and squeeze my eyes shut. It's all a dream. It has to be. This can't be real. It's too horrible for it to not be. As if I don't feel bad enough. I just got him back.. What am I gonna do? This - this looks like the end. "Dean.." I hear a familiar voice say. I turn around and my mom is leaning against the door frame, tears in her eyes. I wipe my eyes to get a better view at her. She walks over and sits by me. She puts arm around my shoulders and I lay my head on hers. I cry silently. "How much did you see?" I asked. "Enough." She replied. Great. My mom just saw me break down crying and singing about my dying boyfriend. My dying boyfriend. Those three words go over and over in my mind. "Why can't I catch a break, mom?" I asked her softly. She rubbed her thumb over my arm, "You're a Winchester.". I nodded. After sitting there for about 30 minutes with no update my mom got up. "I'm gonna get some food and bring it back." She kissed the top of my head and left. All alone again. I pull out my phone and earbuds. I put them in and press play. The song "Build God, Then We'll Talk" by Panic! At the Disco comes on. Cas put all of his music onto my phone. Said I needed some "real" music on there. It's actually not that bad. "Raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses and sleeping with roaches.." I mouth the words. I feel like my voice is gone.

The music must have been too loud when the nurse came out and asked for me. She taps me on the shoulder and I jerk my eyes open. I take my earbuds out and listen to what she has to say. "He's alive for now. Not stable though. The doctor thinks he has maybe two days at the most to live. Do you want a preacher to come and pray for you?". My eyes flicked to hers, "God is the reason we're in this mess. No." I said bluntly. "Sorry sir, mandatory questions. You can't see him yet though. The doctor wants to wait until his vitals are more stable until there are any visitors." She replied. I nodded and put my earbuds back in. I sat back in my chair. "I could really go for a smoke right now." I thought as I felt the lining of the pack of cigarettes in my back pocket. I debate about it inside my head for a few minutes. "Fuck it." I say as I get up and walk to the front of the building. I push the doors open and walk out into the rainy weather. I pull the cigarettes out and grab one. I put it in my mouth and cup my hand around the end of it as I strike the lighter with my thumb trying to get it lit. I finally get it and put the lighter into my pocket. I inhale a big breath in through my nose and mouth, filling my lungs with smoke polluted air. I take the cigarette out and hold it between two fingers and exhale the smoke that was in my lungs. I repeat the process a few times until the cigarette is a stump. It's not enough. I pull another one out and light it. I smoke that one and when it's out I throw it on the ground and step on it. I blow out the last of the smoke and walk inside. I sit back down in the waiting room. My mom walks in a few minutes later with fast food. She sits it down on the coffee table in front of us. She sits down, "What is that repulsive smell?" She asks. "What's it smell like?" I ask. "Smoke." She says as she leans over and smells my clothes. "Dean Michael Winchester! Are you smoking?! You know how I feel about that!" She exclaims. Fuck. "Sorry mom.. Just needed an outlet." I mumble. She remembers the circumstances and drops the subject. No doubt in my mind that I won't get yelled at for it after all of this is over.

It's about 10 pm and still no new news. "Dean, let's go home. They'll call if something happens.", my mom says. I shake my head no, as I doze off. "I'm staying." I mumble out. She nods knowing that she's not going to get anywhere. "Alright. Just call to check up, okay?" She kisses my cheek and walks out. An hour later a nurse comes out and wakes me up. "Mr.Winchester, good news. The blood he needs just arrived. They're hooking it up to his IV as we speak. He should be just fine." She says with a smile. I let out a deep breath in relief. I stand up and walk back to his room. I smile when I see him awake. "Hey.." Cas says as I walk in and sit down. He almost dies and when he sees me he says 'Hey'. Smooth, Cas. "Hey.", I respond, "Thought I lost you.". He reached over and held my hand, "You almost did.". I didn't though. Thank God I didn't.

Cas is alive. He is safe. He is here. He is mine.