Cancer has impacted my life because I can't do the things that I want to do. The starting of my senior year I was having a blast I was ready to graduate until something tragic happened that I couldn't even cope with when I was told what was going on with my health. When my mother told me I had cancer I laughed because I was confused and didn't know that was what was actually going on with me. I had just gotten my license my first job. I had payed for all of senior funds. I was ready to graduate and be a college student. All of this went down the drain when I had my first seizure. The months of August - October 2019 I was complaining of headaches well not complaining, because I never told anyone that I was having them. During class I would fall asleep. I even did weird things not expected of me. Chewing my phone, eating my AirPod. All of this leading up to the infection in my brain. I didn't think much of it because I was working at Walmart during the school week and on the weekend. When I didn't have to work I would help a lady who did weddings and catering picking up heavy things that probably was to much for my body. I was also living with my grandparents in Sarasota going to school in north port. I had to be up to get for school at 4am I left the house for school at 5am it took atleast 30-45 minutes to get to the bus stop from my grandparents house. The bus came around 6:30. So I was thinking I'm falling asleep because I'm tired from work getting off sometimes at 9-10pm and getting up early in the morning. October 28th I wasn't feeling well and went to the clinic to lay down that same day I was sent to the hospital. October 29th I had a seizure in my grandparents living room and they sent me to the hospital again and from that day on I was in the hospital for 3 months. My doctors not knowing what was wrong with me why was I having seizures. I was diagnosed with encephalitis. Inflammation of the brain, often due to infection. The infection may be bacterial or viral. In some cases, encephalitis may be the result of an immune system disorder. Encephalitis can also cause severe headaches and confusion. I kept asking my mama was I pregnant. After that before Christmas, they found a cancerous tumor on my right ovary and I had surgery to get it removed. After I had surgery I was depressed because I thought they gave me an abortion not knowing I was never pregnant in the first place. I would rub my stomach like there was a baby actually inside of me. I lost my memory and I was confused on everything.I didn't know who some of my family were. I didn't know why I was in the hospital. I left the hospital on January 1st 2020 with 1 ovary and on chemotherapy. A week from leaving the hospital I started losing my hair. When I would take baths my hair was coming off of my body. When I went to take my braids out of my head one fell out or off I don't know how to say that. My body had scars, burns and scratches. My face was swollen. I was so sick that was the start of the not eating for a couple of months and weight loss. The only thing I was eating at the start of this were noodles. February was an ok month until I was unenrolled from school. I didn't know this at the time I didn't find out until May that I wasn't graduating having all of my credits I still couldn't graduate. March I went back to the hospital for having another seizure. The doctor couldn't find a vein when he did it was very faint you could barely see it yet the doctor still put the needle in my arm. When he did that my vein burst and my arm instantly started swelling and bleeding out. I was so scared like why would you put that needle in my arm knowing something could happen to me. My daddy was very angry using bad words. my daddy had to leave me to go back to Atlanta so he left me I got my room in the hospital on my normal floor I was there for a few days before they wanted to change my floor so I wouldn't be exposed to COVID-19 because it had just started getting more serious. I still wasn't eating at this time and they found out that My esophagus was swollen and I had something going on in my stomach also. I'm writing this short story and haven't had any treatments with my neurologist in months because of COVID-19. Im doing a good job. I wrote this 1/21/2020 I experience a lot, No appetite or no taste, smells that make me nauseous and sicker I get so lazy to the point I hold in things that should come out or to scared because sometimes I have to pee and have a bowl movement and nauseous at the same time so I just hold it in because I'm scared I won't make it to the bathroom with all that's going on. I had to wear diapers because I had accidents a few times. Ringing in my ears, my head spinning weakness no emotions I don't know when to go to sleep I have nauseaness but don't throw up My body just acts like it will sometimes now my eating habits always are always changing.This is to much and I'm scared of insects and bugs but not animals I'm never ready for anything the pills or the port or being here do I really have cancer or is it the encephalitis that my mother told me I have because I remember things when I hear them i fall asleep out of nowhere but I'm not really sleep or am I my eyes just get lazy and it seems like I'm sleeping so idk it I'm sleep or not my eyes close and I'm still hearing so it's not a deep sleep i always mess with it and clean it I don't wanna mess with it either but I was told it was infected. I wash my hands and I don't know what I be knowing or what to do or what to wear anymore i have so many nurses and doctors and helpers I'm always thinking and worrying and talking to myself i want to get the understanding of my ovary and my sex life but it's very embarrassing to talk about and so much is always going on I'm so young and I started doing things so early so I really don't understand and my memory is actually bad and I feel things touching me and I see things
My back is getting heated but I'm cold
I talk to myself
I have days where I get depressed from thinking or when something happens I get really sad like I'll cry out of nowhere
