Bottled up
captured and suffocated
Smothered
Shoved down and drowned out
Emotionally constipated maybe
More like stunted
Scars no one sees
That never heal
That make moving forward
So much harder
Expression is tough
In ways I still dont understand
Like how I strain to hear
Everything and nothing
At the same time
Or
How I try to please others
But go completely unnoticed
Or
Maybe like how i want her to hate me
But I'm too scared of her wrath
Like how I'm smart enough to stay alive
But dumb enough to play with fire daily
How I've study interaction so well
I can tell the exact moment
They start to think I'm crazy
Bottled up
captured and suffocated
Smothered
Shoved down and drowned out
Emotionless
That's how it should be
That's how I'm told to be
Lifeless and perfect
Ruthless and perfect
Intelligent and perfect
Pretty and perfect
Strong and perfect
Popular and perfect
Intimidating and perfect
So elegantly gloriously perfect
So goddamned perfect
Perfect
PERFECT
but I am not perfect
I've been told I'm perfect
But only by those who are imperfect
Because they only see what I show them
To them I am perfect
Because I can craft the perfect lies
The perfect lies to fit their perfect image
To her however
I'll never be perfect
Even if she herself isnt perfect
