Eccedentesiast •CYJ [✔️]

22

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CHAPTER. 22

After jungkook walk me to Taehyun's house and was about to leave. "The whole time, you didn't tell me what's the reason you both fight. But talk to him OK? "

He just nod his head "i was being a brat" he told 

"when were you not." i said in sarcastic way

"yah" he frown

" he must have his reason jungkook. so, stop being a brat and listen to your hyung " he nodded his head 

" go in " i nod my head went in, but just to faced by two unfamiliar face.

" you must be yong byeol. im Taehyun's brother, Kang Daniel. this is our older sister, Kang Han Na" he smile which makes his eyes disappeared. but the older girl just didn't bother to look at me. 

the 3 of them doesn't even looks alike ...

" a-annyeonaseyo. im Park YongByeol " i introduced myself awkwardly, i heard a tsked from the older girl but before she could make any comment i already engulf by a warm and familiar scent 

"noona, you are back" Taehyun pull away from the hug grinning widely " i'm back " i smile and ruffle his red lock. " you two seems to be quite close" daniel look at us in amused and surprised 

" close? my foot. can't you see how fake she is?" han na just glare at me " how shameless you could be to step into our house and getting close to our brother, acting like you fit in. " she continued

"noona." taehyun called out his sister, but she wasn't planning to stop " are you happy? you destroy your family and ruin your brother's life by being a burden" 

i wasn't able to say anything, my lips were glued, voice were stuck  ..

you are a burden to jimin..you are a stupid fool

" noona, stop it. " taehyun asking her to stop it " tae-"

" stop acting so weak will you, so annoying?" han na scowl in annoyance before walking away to her room , i guess.

" yong byeol, im sorry. she's always like that " daniel apologized " it's fine, i'll be in my room " i fake a smile before leaving them alone 

she's right... i ruin everything..i ruin jimin's future, everything is ruin ... i close room door sitting floor besides the bed while hugging my knees.

"medicine..."

i know i shouldn't take the medicine, i promise them. but it's so tempting, the voices in my head doesn't stop, it wont stop till i consumed the pill. i place both of my palm on both side of my ears to stop the voice. 

yeonjun..the boys won't be happy to see me breaking the promise we made..

how stupid could you be? promise are meant to be broken. take the medicine,now. 

no, i can't. 

this is why jimin wants took his life, because you are being stubborn,selfish and a burden to him 

jimin wants to took his life because yo-

" stop it, please stop it" i whispered to myself wanting to stop the unsympathetic voice in my head. the voice has been terrorize my mind very often, just like back then. 

Take the medicine and I'll disappeared for now.

With a shaky hand, I open the drawer and took the White bottle out. Yeonjun...

Take it.

No, I don't want to

But my hand were doing something opposite, the pill were already on my palm. With a terrified look, I throw White bottle across the room making all the pill to splattered on the floor just then, my room door were slam open, revealing the yellow hair boy. it's funny how he always appeared when im about get drown into my thoughts.

"Yeonjun the voice is not stopping at all, I-i-i don't want to take the pill but the voice... "

"Byeol, byeol. It's fine"he grab my face with both of his hand.

"I a-almost broke our promise, I almost disappoint you and the boys.. "I choke out those word as tears were flowing down. "I almost disappointed you"I whisper as the tears keep flowing down.

"No, you didn't disappointed us. you throw away the pill though you feel like taking it "

"You did a good job, baby" he engulf me with a hug. Gently caressing my hair "you really did a good job "

"You are brave enough to take baby steps now "

He keeps on encouraged me, somehow I feel guilty for burdening him as well. 

after a while of him calming me down. "Jun, thank you."I pull away from the hug, staring at his puppy eyes as my hand took his and place on my cheek. In which he gently caress. "And, I'm sorry "

"I know you are encouraging me, but I can't... I will keep having this cold, harsh voices to took away all the encouragement you give, I will keep on blaming myself till jimin is awake. I-" I try not to cry but I failed as I soft voice makes me look up 

"Noona, I'm so- "Taehyun apologize but he stop and look at floor, when he step on the pills. "What.. Shit "

"Noona, are you okay? Panic attack again? " he bend down and start to examine me. "I'm fine now, thanks to yeonjun "

"Thank you, yeonjun hyung. " Taehyun smile, "it's nothing"

"I'll clean up the mess "I smile weakly at them, trying to stand up but end up falling back down. "Ah. "I laugh when I saw yeonjun's and taehyun's panic face. "I'm all good now "

"I'll go make some honey lemon for you both "with that taehyun just walk out " you take rest, I'll help you to clean up" yeonjun was about to stand, but I hold his arm

"I'll clean it later, right now please stay by my side "I look down in embarrassment, slowly I felt him shift closer to me wrapping his arm around me. "Whenever you hear the voice, tell me alright? I'll be there for you "his husky voice was full of tender.

"Don't you feel tired? Annoyed? Frustrated with me? "Not breaking the hug but I look up "of course not, why should I? "

"byeol, You didn't ask for depression, anxiety nor panic attacks. It's the situation that traumatized you, and I'm willing to help you out from the cage "he mumbled, I smile at his word with my arms circles around his small waist.

"So warm "

"Yea, I know that. " he smile as he ruffle my hair

Without myself knowing, I have fallen asleep in his arms. without having nightmare again for the second time.