This Town

Chapter 9 - and I want to tell you everything

Take heart, see light
like fire pour through
you are more than the sum
of what happened to you

●●●

 Looking up from the papers she's correcting, Camila watches as Shawn explains an assignment to his class and answers questions some students have. She never thought he would one day become a teacher, but watching his class for the second time that week, she knows he's amazing at it. The students love him and seem to enjoy the class, which makes her proud of him.

 It's been two weeks since she moved back to her mother's house and she's been spending a lot of time with Shawn inside and out of school, to a point where everyone, including their friends, families and even their students, think they're together. However, neither of them have take a step towards that, they haven't talked about it, but both Shawn and Camila agree on reconnecting their friendship first. The more time they spend together, the more Camila is sure that he's still her best friend, but also that she wants nothing more than to feel his lips against hers again.

 " Did you finish it?" She hears Shawn's voice as he sits next to her in the classroom, making her realize she's been on the same paper for at least ten minutes.

 " Not really." She says laughing a little, making him smile at her. " I don't think I've said this before, but you're really good at that. They love your class." She says as they watch the students divided in small groups, talking about the assignment.

 " Thank you, Mila." He says with a smile, making her blush at the nickname. She loves when he calls her that, it brings back a lot of good memories. " I was so scared I was going to suck at this, but turned out I really like it."

 " I'm glad you feel that way, I would hate to see you doing something you don't enjoy." She says looking into his eyes, and he can tell she was worried about him regretting coming back.

 " Maybe this was what I was meant to do all along, where I was meant to be." He whispers before the school bell rings, signing that the class is over.

 They watch as the students walk out of the room, some that are also in Camila's class wave at them. She organizes her things and then they walk to the parking lot, getting inside Shawn's jeep. He drives to Taylor's bakery, where they knew she would be waiting for them. It became kind of a ritual in these two weeks for Shawn to drive Camila to work and then they would eat something at the bakery by the end of the day.

 " Did Camila turned you into an addict for Joe's strawberry cake too?" Taylor asks when she notices the two of them walking through the glass door.

 " It's pretty good, but you know I'm here for your chocolate chip muffins." Shawn says as both him and Camila approach the counter.

 " You haven't changed, have you?" The blonde says with a laugh as she takes a small plate and places a muffin on it, handing it to Shawn. It used to be his favorite thing back in school and Camila would always be frustrated because she sucked at cooking and baking, but she still tried to help both him and Taylor with the recipe.

 Shawn walks to a table in the corner while Camila waits for Taylor to get her a slice of the strawberry cake. Taylor looks into Camila's eyes before handing her the plate, asking what she wants to know without saying a word.

 " No, I haven't told him." Camila whispers so Shawn won't hear them. " I will. I just feel like we're in such a good place right now, I don't want him to be mad at me."

 " This is Shawn we're talking about. He'll never be mad at you, he's probably going to be mad at himself, but not you." Taylor says with a sad tone of voice.

 " You're right. I'm just scared." Camila says taking a look at the handsome tall guy waiting for her at the table.

 " He's your best friend above all things, but we both know that if you want to pursue a relationship with him again, which I know you want to, then you have to tell him." Taylor says those last words before walking inside after an employee called for her.

 Camila walks to where Shawn is and sits across from him on the table, trying to smile at him, but he notices immediately that she has something on her mind.

 " Are you okay?" He asks softly, noticing the subtle change on Camila's mood.

 " Yeah, I just…" She trails off trying to think of an excuse, but then she decides Taylor is right, she has to tell him. " I need to tell you something."

 " Okay. What is it?" He asks with hesitation because she seems serious.

 " Not here. Do you maybe want to have dinner? We could order something, of course." She says trying to make fun of the fact that she still sucks when it comes to cooking.

 " Sure." Shawn says sounding concerned about whatever she has to tell him.

 They finish eating and leave after saying goodbye to Taylor, getting inside his car. The drive to her house is fast and the only thing that can be heard is the song playing on the radio, which is a quite happy one, not suiting the mood they're in at all.

 Shawn follows Camila inside the house, sitting on the couch next to her. She seems nervous to talk to him, which he finds odd. She has always been comfortable on telling him anything.

 " What is it? You're making me worry about you." Shawn says taking one of her hands in his.

 " Please, promise me you're not going to blame yourself for this." She says looking at their hands and interlocking their fingers.

 " Mila…" Shawn starts confused, but she quickly cuts him off.

 " Just promise me, please." She says turning on the couch so they're face to face.

 " Okay. I promise, but you're really scaring me right now." He says reaching his other hand to her hair and placing a strand behind her ear.

 " I don't even know how to start." She says nervously, but after a long silence, she finally says the words that been stuck in her mind all this time. " A month after you left I found I was pregnant." Shawn looks at her in shock, but she finishes before he has the chance to say something. " I was going to tell you, I promise I was planning on doing that, but I needed time to get used to the idea. Before I had the chance to do so, I had a miscarriage."

 She looks up at Shawn and he's still in shock, but once he notices a tear rolling down her face he holds her against his chest. He feels tears on his face as well, not knowing how to process the information she just gave him.

 " I'm so sorry, Mila." He whispers on her ear and feels her holding him with everything she has. " You should have told me anyway, I would've come back."

 " I know, that's why I didn't tell you." She says breathing hard against his chest.

 " I can't believe I was in college while you were going through this. I should've been here for you." Shawn says feeling even more guilty than he already was about leaving.

 " You promised, remember?" Camila says looking up at him. " Don't blame yourself. This is on both of us, you weren't here because I chose not to tell you."

 " You know I'll still feel guilty anyway." He whispers before pulling her body against his one more time. " Does anyone know?"

 " Taylor and my mom." He starts to think of how they seemed to share a secret that day at Brian and Alessia's house and how Camila got emotional seeing him with Charlotte.

 " I know I can't go back and change things, but I need you know I'm not going anywhere this time. You can count on me for anything, I'm here for you always." Camila feels her heart warming at those words, it took awhile but he finally said exactly what she wanted to hear.

 They end up laying down on the couch while Shawn holds Camila against his body, their tears eventually stopping. Her mother walks inside the house later, finding the two of them in a position she had seen them so many times as teenagers. She smiles at the scene in front of her and by the dry tears on their faces, she knows Camila just told him her biggest secret. The thing that made her come running to her mother's arms in sobs all those years ago.