Last First Kiss [H.S.]

I Need A Favor

July 14, 2013
Tinley Park, Illinois

Harry's POV

"You know moping around won't get her to come back" Louis snaps coldly. I turn my head over my shoulder as I change into my outfit for the show.

"Shut up" I grumble, not wanting to hear the same speech I've been told for the past two weeks.

"No, I won't shut up until you realize what a dick move that was" He says smugly, leaning against the table. I clench my jaw and glare at him.

"Don't you think I know that! I know I fucked up Louis! I know I hurt her but I can't do anything about it" I yell, throwing my hands up in the air just for it to slam against my sides.

"You can do something about it. You can get your ass over to England and win her back" He says with a raised voice.

I roll my eyes and ignore him like the multiple times he's tried to get through to me. He doesn't understand that I can't just show up on her door step. I can't screw this up more than I already did. I know this is a long time to leave this how it is but I can't come up with anything to make it all better. I hurt her badly and I knew from the second I saw her face, but I couldn't control it.

My anger got the best of me. My bad mood drained my energy completely. I was in a bad place mentally with everything going on and I pushed away the one thing I needed the most. I needed her by my side as much as I hated to admit it. But I was a grade A asshole and shut her out. She was only trying to be there for me.

I am kinda pissed at Louis for getting her to come when she was in LA for work but she was gonna find out sooner or later. Twitter was all over me for those weeks and all they talked about was how sad and miserable I looked. I was sad and miserable. I missed her. I missed her so much yet when she got here it's like I didn't even want to see her. Truth is, I was hoping she would be her stubborn self and stay despite my stupid pleas for her to leave.

I still miss her. I'm still sad and miserable and to top it off, I'm mad at myself. I'm furious at myself. How could I let it get to this point? Seeing her face fall because of me was the worst feeling I ever felt. My mouth was running and I couldn't stop myself.  The things I said to her were vicious and I hate myself for it. I regretted the words the second Zayn took her to his room and when I got back from Louis' lecture, she was gone.

She was gone because of me.

Day after day, all my mind can focus on is the hurt flashing through her eyes at my words. The disbelief she had that I would even talk to her like that was evident. Hell, I was even surprised at my tone. I didn't want to believe this all really happened. I was praying that it was all a really bad dream. A horrible nightmare. But it wasn't. I hurt her.

I won't ever forgive myself and if I'm honest I doubt she will either. My mum told me she was taking it hard. She told me she hasn't seen her but Amanda has spoken to her and told her everything going on at home. It breaks my heart imagining Emiliana hauled up in her room, crying all day in the darkness. I know she hasn't eaten, I haven't either. I can't sleep and I know for a fact she can't either. We're in a bad state without each other and add a huge fight in the mix and we are explosive bombs. Everyone has been walking on eggshells around me except Louis.

Louis hasn't failed once to remind me what a huge mistake I made. He has always been protective of Emiliana, more than the other boys. So I know he's giving me a hard time because he cares about her. I appreciate it but it sucks when I'm on the receiving end of things. I know I made a mistake but he makes sure to rub it in my face. The other boys were pissed off at me too but they know how much this is affecting me, so they aren't being as ruthless.

I can't focus on anything now. My mind immediately floats to thoughts of Em the second I wake up if I even fall asleep in the first place. Fans have noticed and the hate is just getting worse. It's not bothering me as much but that's only because I have bigger things to worry about. Management has been on my ass about my mood and are threatening to stop me from going on stage for a while but they can't do that. It'll make business worse for them.

The door opens and the three other boys walk in hesitantly, obviously sensing the tension in the room.

"Hey mate, how are you holding up?" Liam asks, clapping my back with his hand. I sigh and buckle up the belt on my jeans.

"Doesn't matter how I am, I did the damage" I say, sitting down on the sofa.

"Even if it's your fault you have the right to be upset, Harry" Zayn says.

"Guys can we please just drop it" I groan, tired of hearing the same things everyday.

"Look, we'll stop bothering you when you do something about this mess" Louis says bluntly.

"Louis' right mate, the longer you wait this out the worse it'll be" Niall comments. Before I can respond, Paul calls us up to go on stage. We all make our way, getting up on stage.

The adrenaline of the crowd use to five me a huge rush. It use to make me excited to be up there. Now all I wanna do is finish this show like every show that has passed, and lay on the hotel bed, thinking of the one thing, the one person I can't live without.

"That was a wild one! The crowd was insane" Niall laughs loudly, fist bumping Zayn. I keep walking to the dressing room, just wanting to change out of my clothes and leave. The boys talk animatedly about everything that happened during the concert.

"Haz, are you ok?" Louis asks, his snarky attitude subsiding as he's genuinely concerned about me.

"I'm alright" I say warily, waiting for him to make a sarcastic comment.

"Harry, you were crying when we were singing Last First Kiss.." He says slowly, stopping me in the hallways as the others keep walking. I look down at my feet, biting the inside of my cheek.

"You'll figure it out. Just do the right thing yeah? Take these days off to think about everything" He says softly. I nod and it's then that a sudden idea flicks in my head.

"I know how I'm gonna fix this" I say with wide eyes. Louis looks at me suspiciously.

"And what may that be?" He raises his eyebrows.

"Just-Just trust me" I say, a smile growing on my face.

I leave him standing a bit confused and go to an empty room. I pull my phone out and dial the number I know by heart since I was 5. The ringing feels like it goes forever until it stops abruptly, being replaced by the soft voice.

"Hello?"

My heart beats fast and I breath out a sigh of relief, a slight smile on my face.

"Amanda, I need a favor"