Last First Kiss [H.S.]

Half A Heart

"There's no need for that love"

I stare at Harry, my eyes wide and I choke on the tense air. He's actually here. He came here. He's..

"Em?" Cara says questioningly and I almost forgot that I was on the phone with her. I snap out of my trance and clear my throat awkwardly.

"Cara, I gotta go.." I say slowly hanging up and slipping my phone into my pocket. I keep my eyes on him, studying everything about him at this moment and my heart breaks a little when I see how bad he looks. His eyes are a bright red like he's been crying for days. His cheeks are flushed as well and he has dark circles under his eyes. His hair is disheveled and you can tell he ran his hands through it way too many times. His hands hold a large luggage, meaning he came straight from the airport. How the hell did he know where I was.

"Wha-What are you doing here?" I ask, standing still in my spot. He places his luggage down in the corner of the room and looks back at me. I can tell he's hesitating to come closer, but he does nonetheless. I can't seem to move from my spot, the shock too much for me right now. He stands right in front of me and it's then that I see his eyes are watery.

"I messed up Em" He whispers, his voice cracking noticeably. I look up at him and don't even believe what's happening right now. This feels surreal.

"I-I uh.. I don't know what to say" I stutter in shock. He looks down slightly, and I see his hands moving tentatively to mine, almost like he isn't sure if he should.

"C-Can we sit down? I wanna talk" He says quietly, looking down at me. I nod and lead him to the couch, forgetting about my spaghetti. I sit down and he follows, creating space between us. I understand his hesitance with me but I can't help but feel a slight ache at the distance.

"I'm so so sorry love. I can't even explain how sorry I am. I'm an absolute idiot and I don't even expect you to forgive me. I was a dick to you and I don't even have good enough reasons" He rambles on. I open my mouth to speak but he cuts me off.

"Please let me finish and then you can tell me to fuck off if you want to but, please let me explain" He says quietly. I shut my mouth and nod, motioning him to go on.

"I need you to know that I didn't mean anything. I don't know what got into me but it's no excuse for what I said to you and how I spoke. I was in a bad place and having you there was the best thing I could've had yet I pushed you away. I pushed you away because I felt like I was being a burden. You came from a work trip just because I was upset over some hate that I should be used to. I felt awful that you threw away opportunities because of me and that's why I freaked out. I hated feeling upset over something so little that I needed you. I felt weak and stupid. Now I just feel even more stupid that I pushed you away when I needed you most. I hate myself for making you feel the way you did. It hurt so bad seeing you cry yet my anger got the best of me. I wasn't even mad at you. I was mad at myself that I got so bad to the point you had to come and make me feel better and I took it out on you" He says, tears streaming down his face. I look at him with a solemn expression, feeling every bit of sadness he's feeling as well.

"I hate that I left this unfixed for so long but I never found the right moment. I never called because that's a dick move to apologize over the phone. I knew I had to make things right the right way because I've screwed up enough. Em, I can't lose you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me in a long time and I love you with all my heart. It hurt so bad not talking to you and I will never forgive myself for the way I treated you and I wish I can take it all back but I can't" He whispers the last sentence, pain laced in his voice. Multiple tears are streaming down both our faces. I sit there looking at him, seeing how helpless he looks which only makes my heart hurt more.