A Match Into Water (Neeroy Fanfiction)

Chapter 25

Leeroy's POV

I ended up going home after Niall stormed off. I didn't want to stay and attempt at prying him out of his room. Maura went upstairs after him but the look on her face suggested that I shouldn't shadow her. It was sad that my boyfriend was mad at me, but I wasn't going to apologise yet. My reasons were valid, surely? I understood his views, too, but he didn't understand mine.

When I got home, only Liam was in. He was with his friend Louis, playing video games in the living room. Both were shirtless and in their loose pyjama bottoms, so I assumed Louis was staying around. It was pretty late now, around eight.

I must've looked pretty down, because Liam paused their game and turned to me, raising his eyebrows. "What, didn't Ni give you a blowjob?"

"Shut up, Liam." I snapped, collapsing on the sofa chair and rubbing my face frustratingly. Sometimes, things seemed to be easier when I was in a coma. I laughed half heartedly to myself, knowing nobody else would be amused by that remark.

Louis snorted. "Only Niall could make someone look so stressed. Are you okay, Leeroy?"

"Why didn't anybody tell me Niall wanted to kill himself if I died? How could he be so stupid?" I shook my head in disbelief, and watched as Liam and Louis's faces fell slightly, before softening their eyes in sympathy.

"He was a mess, man." Liam spoke gently, putting his controller on the coffee table and turning his body to face me. "You guys have known each other for only a few months, but he's fell deep. He couldn't imagine life without you. You can't say you wouldn't have thought of doing the same, because you would've. You can't get mad at him for wanting to stay with you."

I groaned. I knew I was being unreasonable in some cases, but it didn't stop me from thinking what if. What if I died? Niall wouldn't be here either. He would have thrown away all his chances in life. All because my stupid heart stopped beating.

Louis nodded at Liam. "We see where you're coming from, Leeroy, but you didn't see how messed up he was."

"I'm going to bed." I spoke mechanically. What else could I do? I didn't want to go to his house right now, because maybe he needed space. Of course I loved him and I respected him but it was late and I was tired.

Liam narrowed his eyes. "Um, it's only eight. Why don't you hang with me and Lou?"

"Thanks, but I'm pretty tired. Plus, I don't fancy watching you both attempt at playing GTA when you're both shit." I teased, but they laughed and rolled their eyes at me. Then they went back to playing their game.

I pushed myself out of the chair and went upstairs. I slumped into my crappy bedroom and walked straight to my CD player, and pressed play. I didn't even know what was in there, but my heart melted when Ed Sheeran filled the atmosphere with his harmonic voice. It was the first song played when I met Niall. It seemed stupid to love someone so much.

I collapsed on my spinning chair and turned towards my desk. It was cluttered with paper balls, random pens and stationary. Without thinking, I picked up a inky black pen and wrote sorry in the middle of an A5 sheet of paper.

Sometimes, my head got filled with worry. It was like I couldn't control my thoughts. The fact Niall was so fucked up pained me; it was my fault. I stepped in front of that lorry, yet everyone else suffers. How does that work? Why couldn't he see that he had a future? Mine was always going to be on schedule. I'd wake up, go to work, come home. Niall could pick his dream and live life to the fullest. I destroyed that when I made the choice of almost getting myself killed.

How could one feel so empty?

***

Niall's POV

"You can't blame him for being a little... concerned."

My mum wouldn't stop talking. I was sprawled across my bed on my stomach, only half listening to the shit she was rambling on about. She was pacing across my room and trying to talk sense into me, but I didn't buy it. Leeroy was being stupid, and hypocritical. I know he'd do the same if the roles were switched. He needed to listen.

"I mean... He's just worried, he's probably wondering what'd have happened if he did, y'know..." She trailed off. She didn't like any talk of death around me, thought it was sensitive subjects. Like I couldn't handle death, I was faced with it, for Christ sake.

"Niall, stop being stubborn. He's only young, and he clearly loves you." She snapped, obviously done with my shit. It made me laugh; the way she was sometimes. She couldn't handle conflict.

So I sighed. "What am I supposed to say? He doesn't listen to me, Mum."

"Well, make him listen to you. I know you're not just going to throw your relationship away over some silly fight, baby, so save your breath and just go to him. You love him, he loves you. Don't give up now! We Horan's never give up."

I knew she was right. But it was late. "Tomorrow."

"Niall, he's probably hating himself right now. You don't want him to suffer, do you?" She insisted, raising her eyebrows. Damn it. I hated it when she was right and made so much sense, it usually meant I needed to do what she wants.

"I can't drive, and I'm not walking at night all the way to Payne's." I reminded her, biting my lip at the dilemma.

She snorted. "I can drive, Niall. Get your coat. We will be making things right. Horan's don't quit!"