you killed my flower

60. i remember

i remember the time
when all was right.
my soul smiled,
radiating light
that shined through my eyes
and smile.
i remember the time
when it was all simple.
i didn't get punished for
saying how i feel.
i remember the time
when you and i
sang our song of happiness
in unison.
i remember when
you promised all those things
that made my stomach twist with
joy.
i remember the first time
i picked up those pills.
"this will make it better."
i told myself.
i remember what you said
when you caught me.
"darling, why?"
your voice was barely a whisper.
i can't remember
what my skin looked like
before.