"I dont want to be happy anymore" I said with a low-toned voice. I'm watching him peacefully sleeping—in a hospital bed.
"Because everytime that you felt happiness even just for a second, the next thing you would feel is all sadness" my tears fell as I carress his hand gently. He's my love, my other half, and my everything.
I dont know when will he wake up or when will his body respond. I miss his voice, i miss everything about him.
"Love, wake up please. I miss your kisses, your voice, your hugs. Everything, love." I kissed his hands. Maybe he could hear me—or maybe not.
I saw Doctors entered the room, maybe they will check him to see if there's any progress.
This is all my fault. If I didn't forced him to go to our favorite place. We will be happy and i can see his smile but I forced him to go there to celebrate our 3rd anniversary.
"He's resting almost a year, and his body doesn't responds on any of our medications. He's still in coma." The Doctor announced.
Coma. I've heard that word so many times and it still breaks my heart everytime i hear that word.
"Hey, you should rest. You're getting tired." His brother said to me but I want to take care of him until he wakes up. I want to be the first person he'll see when he wake up.
"It's really my fault." Its not a question but its a statement. It's really my fault even though they said that i was an accident, the only person that i can blame is myself.
"Dont blame yourself, it was an accident. Phynx will not be happy if you keep blaming yourself. He will not be happy if you look sad and the reason is him." His brother said and looked at Phynx
"Phynx is the reason why i'm happy" I smiled. Thats the truth. He is the reason. He will always be the reason. Always.
Weeks passed but nothing changed, I am still waiting for him to wake up. Tomorrow is our fourth anniversary, i'm a little bit excited because I have a feeling that he will wake up tomorrow.
"I can feel that you'll wake up tomorrow, love. Surprise me okay?" I said and yawned it's already 10:12 pm. I yawned. Maybe I should take a nap even just for an hour.
All I can see is white. Suddenly, a person appeared infront of me.
"Phynx" I cried and hug him tight. Really really tight. I am happy, because he really woke up on this day— our 4th anniversary.
"Love" he said and he hugged me back. It feels so good in his arms. It is my home.
"Are you ready?" Huh? I was confused. Ready for what?
"W-what are you s-saying?" I stuttered. He only smiled at me.
"I'm asking you, are you ready?" He kissed the tip of my nose. I closed my eyes to feel him.
"I d-dont know." I said while my eyes are still closed. I just want to him feel him. This feeling. The feeling that only Phynx can give it to me. Happiness
"Happy 4th anniversary, love." He kissed my forehead. "You're always there for me" he kissed my cheeks. "I love you." He kissed my lips. It felt so real.
When I opened my eyes, I saw him crying. I stared at him and noticed that he's disappearing slowly, like a smoke.
"Phynx!" I tried to hold him but he was like an air.
He only smiled at me. "I love you so much." And I watched him slowly disappeared in my eyes.
I woke up because of the noises around me. My heart is beating really fast when I saw the Doctors how they are trying their best to revive Phynx.
My tears won't stop falling down, seeing the monitor beside him — flat line. This couldn't be... I have a feeling that you will wake up, you said to me a while ago that you'll come back but what's happening?
I couldn't move. I'm just staring at him while the Doctors are still reviving him. Love... I saw you in my dreams, you're real! You're coming back.
All I can do is to pray. I'm praying while crying, I have faith in Him. Please, save Phynx. Please...
"Time of death: 12:04 am" the Doctor announced. Crying doesn't make me feel better. Seeing Phynx lifeless.
I carressed his face. You kissed me a while ago. It felt so real. Are you really saying goodbye to me? On this day? On our anniversary?
"In my d-dreams, you s-said you'll c-come back." I cant speak well because of crying. His brother comforted me—he is crying also.
"Maybe he came back to the place where he truly belong" his brother said.
"W-where?" I asked while sobbing.
"Heaven."
I looked at Phynx's lifeless body. I can't imagine my life without him but I guess it's time to stand on my own. Phynx won't be happy if he'll see me miserable.
I kissed him for the last time. I love this man and I will never stop loving this man. He will have a place in my heart.
In the right time, love. We will see each other again and we will be very happy. We will continue our story, and build a new memories. Promise, love. I'll be there.
Wait for me.
