⚠️ 𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴⚠️
This story contains mentions of blood and murder. There will be no warnings prior to those mentions so read at your own risk.
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"How does it feel to be capable of destroying anything...
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Psychology:
noun
the scientific study of the human mind and its functions, especially those affecting behaviour in a given context.
(-google)
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I can't get it out of my brain.
My lungs still struggle to breath whenever I recall that mediocre day: the day when my world crashed down. The ringing of the bells still plays in my ear, and the feeling of suffocation still overwhelms my body everytime I close my eyes and attempt to sleep. The mad beating of my heart against my rib cage keeps me awake at most nights. My body still feels the burning sensation of the heat against my now scarred skin. Nothing felt the same anymore. I wasn't the same.
I look everyday at the mirror with dread, fearing that one day the events will repeat themselves and I will have to get tortured all over again. Everything was over, but the scars that decorated my body were reminders to me. Their job was to remind me of who I was and why I came that far in life. It reminded me why I chose the path that I chose and why I should continue seeking my success in it. It shaped my future and motivated me to stay strong and face the horrendous reality.
Life itself was a piece of cake. Sometimes, the cake is sweet, and you feel like you want more and more of it everytime you take a bite. Other times, the chocolate filling on the cake is done and all you taste is the same, old, plain cake, then you feel like you don't want any more bites. The most common one, however, is the cake that gets filled beyond its capacity and you just can't eat it. It looks and feels heavy to the point that you don't even want to put it anywhere near your mouth.
My life was a mixture of the first and the third. I had no middle option. The first half of the cake was sweet, while the rest of it was just a heavy burden, and I had to carry that half on my shoulders for what seemed to me like the rest of my life. Things did end up going in my own way, but the amounts of things I sacrificed, and the amounts of failures and hardships I had to go through were still in me, because that was the piece of cake that I accidentally ate.
The most difficult aspect of my life were humans. It was where the chocolate on my cake went overload, and I couldn't handle it anymore; It was where everything started. Understanding the human brain and its complexity was something that I dedicated myself to. I worked hard, day and night, just to get to where I was at the moment: a well known therapist, and a university professor. My life has always been a mess because of this one choice that a stranger made when I was younger, and that was where my obsession with psychology started.
