Poetry

Estranged

This house don't feel
like home anymore.
At first I thought it was just a dream,
Where I would wake
up in no time

But now I'm fully awake,
And I've come to realize,
I've lost  a place I once called home.
It seems like I've lost my mind
Because I'm still waiting
patiently  for you to return
after all these years.

You said you've gone
to set me free
Here I am, still waiting
and hoping for the freedom
to come as soon
as possible.

I've lived life all these years
Without a trace of your shadow
And with no music
to dance to your tune.
You left me,
with the most painful goodbye.
A goodbye left unsaid
And never explained.
I'm still here, where you left me,
Where we had our last hug,
and sweet kiss on the forehead.
I miss you.
But still, I hate you.

The only family I've ever known,
The best person I've ever met.
I'm still waiting for you to return
to the place
I once called home.
I jerk at every little sound I hear
I call out frequently "is that you?"
But it hurts, because I hear no reply.
It  know it isn't you,
I can swear with my life
Because you'd never ignore me,
or would you?
Have you changed that much ?

I guess you have,
'Cause It sure doesn't feel
like you anymore.
I can't even feel
your presence like I used to.
Tell me, why did you bring
this fight?
The distance between you and i
is   like the ocean's size.
I want you back,
But what can I do?
I'm only human, nothing more.

You know what,?
I have news for you..
I'm done waiting for you.
This is what you wanted right?
I'm done being insane.
I'm done hoping for you to return
I now realize, you've estranged me.
I can't do nothing about it.

I'm stepping out
of my comfort zone,
Where you left me.
But..... I will fight hard
to keep the memories alive.
I will work hard
to make sure that
you are not my past,
but my present, my future, 
and my beautiful tomorrow.

Do not return for me
You'd not find me.
Do not come looking for me,
'Cause I'm long gone.
I'm running away,
To the land of the unknown
Don't fight for me no more,
For I'm all grown up now.
I hate you for leaving. But still,
I love you.