Character Profiles

Lady Jen, Ninja Warrior

I'll tell you all about Jen. She's important. She's my best friend. She's the deadliest woman anywhere in the Kingdom (and I don't care if you tell my mother I said so). And she makes my prison feel like home.

She's always saving me. She's smart. She's graceful. She's what my uncle has taken to calling a ninja ever since his prolonged absence. But she's a thin wedge of midnight coming at you like a mountain lion off a high bluff.

These City folks had never seen a thing like her. Once a week (at least) I'll get myself in some pickle, just trying to be useful and have a little fun. But Jen is always enough to save me.

Even now, I'm taking down these notes while trapped beneath the bench seat of the house carriage of the Duke of Souward Ardain. I'm bent double and securely tied, but they left my hands free enough to scribble some thoughts during the drive.

I stumbled on a secret meeting. I shouldn't have been there. The Duke shouldn't have, either. He's supposed to be fighting a war against tax-robbing brigands in the eastern marches. Alas. He's drinking wine with rich men in smelly basements, and now I'm a liability.

The first thump,  you wouldn't even notice if you didn't know Jen. You'd think it was a bump in the road. The driver shifting, maybe. But it was a girl with her hair tied back dropping onto a canvas roof without tearing it (at a full gallop).

The second thump you almost certainly would have missed, assuming you missed the first. It was the hard edge of her hand just below the ear of the driver, from behind, and she caught him before he could even slump down. I only heard it because I was listening.

Then she gave an unladylike grunt that rather spoiled the whole effect. The guard in the carriage above me reacted. "What was that?"

It was as much resistance as they gave her.

She'd grunted because she was heaving a grown man forward off his perch—an armored man, it seemed-—because the next thump was the driver hitting the ground with a thunderous clanging, followed closely by the fourth thump as the front left carriage wheel hit a pile of armor and guard, and the whole carriage went wumpus.

There's a smudge in my notes here. Resumed later.

But that's when the canvas tore. That's when she came in sideways overhead, removed another guard and hurled the Duke himself headlong out the side window.

He didn't fit, but he stuck neatly.

She didn't call my name or anything. She ripped the cushion off the bench and pulled me ungently out.

She freed my hands, then met my eyes.

"You said you were going for a cup of tea!"

"I found a coup instead!" I answered. "They kidnapped me!"

"Maybe next time I'll let them keep you."

I grinned and leaned on her. "Nah. You won't."