Home coming - Sunstreaker fanfic -

19. Sad ending

Last few days were pretty hard, Sunstreaker was moody and stayed around me for like 24/7 and I didn't know why. I mean, he doesn't give me space or he has to give his opinion about something.

I sighed while I watched Sunny sleep. I was sitting in the armchair, but after a while, I got stiff. Slowly I got up and sat down in the window sill. When my dad was around, Sunstreaker would be up here or outside. I got to know that I have an aunt and I am considering to live with her.

One because my dad is horrible and two because this whole relationship I have with Sunny was getting out of hand, but it's hard and I don't know why. Even his words are hurting me, I somewhere know I need and depend on him.

I rested my head against the white painted wood of the window and felt tears rolling down my cheeks. I hold back my sobs so I wouldn't wake him up, I just don't know why it depressed me so much.

It surprised me a little bit when I felt Sunstreaker press his head against mine. "What's wrong?" He asked. Seriously, how did he noticed this! He was asleep for Primus sakes.

He pulled me in a tight hug. "Come on... tell me," he said in a whisper. I sucked in a breath and sighed. "I don't know, just tired, I'm pretty cold, my muscles are painful cuz of the position I sleep in and... just everything that's going on with my dad..." he hummed and pulled me with him.

We both laid in bed and he covered me up. I was relieved to lay in my bed again. "I just wanna sleep," he nodded and curled his much large body around my back and his arm around my waist.

The next morning, I was up early and I woke up Sunstreaker because of it. "What was all that about last night?" He asked as he rubbed his eyes and jawed. "I am leaving my dad..." he nodded "finally..." he said as he hopped out of bed as well.

"You can live on the base with me and Sides..." he added on. "No... I mean... I am leaving Washington DC, apparently I have an aunt, so I am going to live with her," I said, crossing my arms and brushed some mascara off my face. He froze before he looked at me "but— you can live on the base," he pushed.

"Maybe I don't wanna be in Washington anymore..." I  added on sniffling. "Wait! You don't have to decide right now... just think about it, okay?" He asked. I gave a small nod "fine..." I sulked. "Optimus called me back— but it's weekend, so I can take you, you're not grounded anymore," he said.

"Actually I am going to stay at my home... I just wanna draw and stuff," I said. "But— you can do that at the base as well," he pushed. "No! You're in a rush and— just go," I said. Sunstreaker gave a small nod and retreated to the bathroom.

As he was done, he walked up to me again and brushed some strands out of my face before pressing a soft kiss on my forehead. "Alright... see you later, I'll cook tonight," he said. I gave a small nod and turned my back towards him again.

((Sunstreaker's P.O.V))
I could feel an tension between us, or it came from her. I don't know why, I don't know why she keeps distance from me so sudden. Did I really hurt her that day in the kitchen. It had to be that, maybe she's afraid of me now.

I could feel my stomach twist a little at the thought, but quickly hopped in my alt-mode and drove off. I looked at her window, she was doing something, but I don't know what.

At the base, I first greeted my brother with a hug. Kinda missed him. "SUNNY!" Sideswipe cheered, hugging me tightly as well, almost denting and scratching my paint job.

"Stop! You're scratching my paint job!" I snapped. He rolled his optics and released me from his tight grip. "Just happy to ya!" He chirped. I looked around before I pressed a soft kiss on his cheek plate.

"Ah, knew you loved me," he purred. I softly slapped his help, in a playful manner and walked off. "So... what have you been up to these days?" He asked curiously. "The femme," I replied. "How is she? Miss her," Sideswipe said.

"She's fine... I guess," I muttered the last part. I ignored sideswipe's questionable look. "Ask her out..." I halted and turned around. "Ask her for a date..." he subtitled. "A date?" I repeated slowly. He gave a nod "you like her or not?" He asked.

"I don't know—"

He rolled his eyes "we share the same femme smart-ass, we like her but I want you to ask her out first," he said. I huffed "I don't have feelings for a human femme," he grumbled. "Yes you do! And listen to my advice for once!" He said as he grasped my arm.

"What do I ask? Do you wanna go on a date with a aggressive sociopath and narcissist?" I snapped. "You're the one to ask people out," I snapped, crossing my arms. "Yes, and now I want you to try it," he stated firmly.

"Just try..." He pushed. "Why wouldn't you?" He added. "Cuz she doesn't like me that way... come on, we both know she's abused... they hurt her... I hurt her, she's never gonna like us, or at least not me!" I said.

"I don't even regret all the things I did..."
"That's because of your ASPD... but I know deep down you do feel guilt, the fact we have this conversation and the fact it's bothering you, you do regret and you liked her from the moment she looked at you! This feeling is just new for you," he said.

"You have to ask her out and talk with her about it," he finally stated. I nodded and sighed "yeah, whatever," I muttered, walking off. "Sunstreaker! Ask her out!" He pushed a bit demandingly, normally I am the dominant one of the two and don't really tolerate it if other mechs try to dominate me, but this time it was different.

"Fine..." I grumbled. My spark was beating fast by only thinking about. She's gonna say no for sure, I mean I hadn't been nice to her the last few days. I was somehow excited too, I had never asked anyone out, my bro always for that. As soon as I was done, I left the base and raced back towards Merope's house.

"Merope!" I shouted, but there was no answer from her. I sprinted upstairs "Merope! I have to ask you something very important... I should have asked you sooner but—" I looked around, but she wasn't there. I did see a letter on her bed. I walked over to it and sat down, grabbing the letter.

Hi Sunstreaker,
I am sorry about your lack of empathy and the way you try to survive with such an empty void. I am sorry you choose me to fill it, but I am not sorry I didn't succeed. My inability to fulfill your relentless demands and to fill the shoes of the perfect persona you created has been the best thing to ever fail at. The pain endured to fill your bottomless pit revealed the most important part to me, my ability to believe in goodness of anyone, even a cowardly monster like you!

I suffered the daily put downs, the belittlements and the eggshells, because I believed in you. I believed your heart was there, it was just buried beneath the rubble of past burdens. I believed and kept pushing, and kept pealing off layers, that I could reveal the part of you that you actually care about me. Yeah, I tried to turn a wall into a door, so I could understand you, anyways, the reality was pretty clouded by doing so, I did because I have a heart. A heart that was too much for someone like you to handle. The weight of you has been too hard to carry and I tried to give you a change, I never wanted it to come to this point. It's time to understand that some people are too cold to ever find comfort in another's warmth.

I have been crying for days, cuz this goodbye is somehow still hard for me, but I know it's the best for both of us. I am going to start a new life with my aunt. This is probably the closest bond you ever had with a human... and I hate it to say all this kind of things to you... please don't be upset about it, things are the way it is... I collected all my broken pieces and I may not know where they belong anymore, I am hurt too many times, but they're in my hands and never to be taken again...

Farewell Sunstreaker...

Merope