Breaking up with Brandon [FIN]

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Walang nagsasalita sa aming dalawa. Hinayaan niya lang akong umiyak ng umiyak sa loob ng kotse niya. Hindi ko nga alam kung saan niya ako dinala. I felt like the world stopped when I left that unit few hours ago at hanggang ngayon ramdam na ramdam ko pa rin yung sakit. 

Sabi nila kapag daw masama ang loob mo, umiyak ka lang. Kapag daw nailabas mo na sa pamamagitan ng luha, gagaan daw yung pakiramdam mo. Mawawala daw yung sakit. Now, I proved that wrong. Kasi kahit siguro isang timba yung iiyak ko, andun pa rin yung pain - sumasabay siya sa pagtibok ng puso ko. 

I told him I love him and maybe that was the worst because when I left, ang nakita ko lang sa mga mata niya ay yung galit and I was so sure that I saw regret in there. He was regretting that he met me. 

Huminto ang sasakyan. Wala akong nakitang mga kabahayan sa paligid. Sa tingin ko nasa isang burol kami at nakatanaw sa sa mga nagtataasang building na nasa kalayuan. Maybe we weren't in the city anymore.

"Do you think I did the right thing?" I asked Calhen. 

Calhen was just on the staircase when I walked out of the room. Nakasalubong ko siya doon, umiinom siya ng beer. Tinapon niya ito noong nakita akong patakbong bumababa sa hagdan. Nilagpasan ko siya pero kinuha niya yung kamay ko. He offered to drive me outside because it would harm Brandon and the band kapag may nakakita sa akin. Gusto ko na sanang putulin lahat ng ugnayan ko sa kanila but after all the pain I had caused with Brandon today, ayoko ng dagdagan pa. Sumama ako sa kanya and from then, I had no idea where he took me. 

He offered me his handkerchief ngunit hindi ko ito kinuha. Instead, he placed it on my lap. 

"It depends on how you view your decision." 

Napatingin ako sa kanya. His face didn't give away his emotions. Kapag tumingin ka sa mata niya parang tumitingin ka lang din sa sarili mo. It's reflective and masking everything in. Para siyang one-way na salamin. 

I sighed and wiped the tears on my face, "It didn't matter now since I already hurt his feelings. He hates me now. Bakit naman ganon? Gusto ko lang naman mapansin ng idol ko dati. The world gave  it to me but it forgot to tell na trial period lang pala ang meron ako." 

"Maudie, he might not understand now but he will when the time comes. When your love is right it will happen at the right moment. Kapag tama na ang panahon, hindi ka na masasaktan, hindi na siya masasaktan at wala na kayong masasaktan."

I was only looking at him when he said those words. And for the first time since I met him, he smiled sincerely at me. Alam kong sincere yun because his face softened and his eyes gave me assurance and a new sense of hope. 

I contemplated what he said. I am now depending on that thin thread of hope that he'll understand that I did what I need to do for him, for his dreams.