This Burden I Carry [Phan Fic]

"Philly..." I cooed, shaking my sleepy friend gently. He groaned sleepily and pulled the pillow over his head. I chuckled. "Phil, it's ten.. You have to get up.." I said. He shook his head. "Too early," he mumbled sleepily. I pulled the pillow off of his head. He whined softly. I chuckled and brushed the stray hairs off of his forehead. "Philly, come on," I said, tugging him up into a sitting position. "Dan," he whined. "Phil," I mocked. He sighed. "Come on, you've moped enough for the past two weeks," I said, rubbing his back. "I'm not done moping," he said, burying his face into my shoulder. I sighed and wrapped a protective arm around my depressed best friend. I glanced down at him, sighing. It broke me to see him like this. Ever since he started dating that Ethan guy, he's been a wreck. Every time I ask what's wrong, he never gives me a straight answer and always just says, "Ethan".

I sighed and planted a kiss on the top of his head. "Do you want anything? A drink or something?" I asked him. "Get me twenty cases of beer so I can get drunk and die," he said, curling up to my side. I frowned. "No. You're not getting drunk over some prick," I said. He sighed and got up. "I'm going to take a shower," he said, trudging to his bedroom door. "About time," I teased and he shot a glare back at me. Then, he trudged off to the bathroom and I heard the shower turn on.

Phil's Point Of View.

Once I got to the bathroom, I shut and locked the door. No, I did not come in here to shower. I turned the shower on anyway, to trick Dan into thinking that I was in there. I swallowed down heavily and opened the cupboard above the sink and reached to the back of the top shelf. I grabbed the razor and pulled it out, shutting the cupboard once the razor was in my grasp. I slid down the wall and glanced to my wrist. I pulled my sleeve up and my eyes grazed over the scars that were already left on my wrist. Dan didn't know I did this, no one did. I'm so secretive about this depression I've fallen into, that no one even knows that I'm already so far down. That I'm on the edge. I sighed and lifted the razor to my wrist. My hand shook, which made it hard for me to get the razor in the right position. Once I calmed down, I slashed the razor across my wrist. I watched the blood form on my wrist and I sighed. Why do you do this to yourself? I wondered. Well, Ethan clearly doesn't love me. Dan doesn't feel the same way. No one's there. I sighed. No one's there because you won't let anyone help you. I frowned, knowing that my thoughts were correct. I sighed and ran the razor across my wrist again, deeper. I bit my lip to stop me from whimpering or wincing. Once I sucked it up, I did it again, deeper than before.

I accidentally cried out, and I think Dan heard me because I heard him outside the door. "Phil?" he asked. I swallowed. "In the shower," I said. "You okay? Did you fall or something? I heard you make a noise. It sounded like you got hurt," he said. I swallowed and decided not to answer. "Phil?" he asked. I sighed softly and shook my head, running the razor across my wrist once more, but lightly.

Dan's Point Of View.

I sighed and searched around for a bobby pin or something. Why would we have bobby pins though? I frowned, then remembered the bathroom key. I walked to my room and grabbed it from my side drawer, walking back to the bathroom and unlocking the door. I heard a small gasp from inside and I walked in, seeing Phil on the ground, blood seeping from his wrist. He had a small, silver razor in his hand. "Phil!" I cried, and he dropped the razor. I sighed, tugging him up. "Silly boy.." I said. He had tears in his eyes. I rubbed his back and led him to the kitchen, turning on the cold tap. I placed his wrist under the tap and he winced. I sighed and looked at him. "Why?" I asked.