Dreams and Whims

Intro: Missing a Soul

The title sounds so edgy.

This isn't about me losing or missing my soul.

I'm a very emotional/soulful person. Whichever emotion, I feel it to the highest extent; I'm not used to expressing them though. 

Would you look at that; I know how to use a semi colon to some extent.

I made the cover of this book Namjoon because he's the epitome of a dream so :)

This chapter is about me feeling a presence. It's not necessarily a bad one but it's definitely passionate of some sort. 

Is it a ghost? Spirit? Psyche? Soul?

I've found myself missing this "soul", even though I have no idea what it is or who it correlates to. It feels like a person's embrace and I'm compelled to be look for them. This isn't exactly some soulmate bullshit. I don't really believe in that but maybe it's a prediction that there's someone out there that I could have a deep connection with; Whether they be a friend, colleague, boss, SOMEONE.

I can't even tell if it's male or female. It sounds like I'm just rambling at this point but the feeling can be so intense sometimes.

The other day it was pouring in my city and i was staring at my backyard through the back door and I felt the presence again. Like they were resting their head on my shoulder and staring with me. 

Then it vanished; My heart throbbed because, well, I missed it. I was so remorseful to the point where I shed a tear or two which is kind of concerning.

Look at me, being concerned about a potentially imaginary being when I haven't even gotten my life together in the slightest.  

oh well I like fantasizing 

I want to be optimistic about this situation but part of me is worried that I'll get my heart broken again by this potentially real person. What's new?

Maybe I'm going crazy because I've been inside with only my family and I crave other forms of human contact. 

Part of me hopes this is a whole " two people dying together and finding each other in another life." because imagine how cool and passionate that would be. Another part of me says "fuck that bro who needs any more people. nasty"

As you can see my ability to convey ideas through writing has diminished heavily.

Tough.

But even so, if I do happen to see this person in my life one day, I hope we smile and laugh to the point that we get crows feet at the corner of our eyes at a young age.

Marks tell stories after all.