Life

it'll be alright...

I got up and everything is still the same...how bad I wished it was just all a nightmare...but...it's all real...I feel...numb...I dressed into the same hoodie and went to school ... As soon as I parked the car ...I saw

Jennie next to me... looking at me through the car window..

Jennie: what happened y/n..?
Y/n: Nothin

I shrugged my shoulders and faked a smile..and went to my class as soon as possible...as soon I sat on my seat someone held my wrist and pulled me out..I didn't shout..or anything..I stayed silent..it was

Taehyung...

Tae: what happened to u?
Y/n: Nothin...
Tae: tell me!!!

He suddenly screamed which made me flinch...I covered my ears and sat down crying...

Tae's pov

When I screamed she sat down crying..I didn't know what to do...I just looked at her and went to her...but she was moving away...for some reason she's scared...she's never scared of me...idk what happened to her...

Y/n's pov

I opened my eyes and saw him coming closer..I moved back...I'm scared...he held me tight and told me...

Tae: it's okay I'm here with you...
Y/n: t-thanks...
Tae: I love you...

I didn't wanna reply to that..cuz I don't feel anything right now...so I just stayed silent...it felt unreal...he felt unreal...why would he love me?...it's not real...I convinced..myself..I wanna cry so bad...

Tae: it'll be alright...

There he said it.."it'll be alright" I know it'll never be alright! I fucking know it! But why? Why couldn't it be alright? I pushed him and got up ...I ran to my house ....I didn't wanna stay there anymore...i got into my house and sat there...I turned off all the lights and sat in the corner..it's my life now and I need to live with it ryt?...

I took a sheet of paper and wrote...

" It's not like I wanna die..I just don't wanna exist if that makes any sense...which it probably doesn't... I don't wanna hurt anyone....I don't have the courage to pull the trigger or drag the knife or kick the chair,swallow the pills or even to jump... sometimes I just wish people would just tell me that I don't mean shit to them...then maybe... I'd build up the courage..."

I kept the paper inside one of the drawers and went to take rest...my head hurts..my body hurts... everything hurts...

Evening~

I got up..it was already evening...I wanted to tell thanks to taehyung...I went to his house..ik where is his house cuz...he used to be my childhood friend...I went to his house and..idk what took over me...I looked through the window...and there he was...

Going to kiss another girl...he.. didn't he just say...he loved me?..he's a.. fucking liar! I knocked the door...

Tae: oh..hey y/n
Y/n: thanks and goodbye!

I went from there I just went to my house ...

Tae's pov

Irene ahhh she kept a bet with me..to kiss her ...I'm not the one who give up on bets so..I was abt to kiss her and there..y/n? ..but before I could say anything she left...ahhh why always me????

Y/n's pov

I went to my house and ....I couldn't take it any longer...so..I took out a..blade...and...made some lines...it felt...good?..yes it felt good?...so I did even more...I couldn't stop it until I realised I've did it all over my arms...I washed the blood away...and I felt...relaxed?...yea..I then went to have a good sleep...for the first time...I slept well...it was good..it felt right and good..it liked it.. actually I loved it...

Oh ...hey guys~ is it bad? I hope it isn't..I tried tho~ hehe