A Love Like Ours

Chapter Seven

“And this last question from me isn’t really a question,” I coughed, trying to make that an excuse to allow my hair to fall into my face as I went on. I don’t even know why I’m doing this, but, you know, it’s the truth, and it’s going to hurt. A lot. “You do know that the furthest we could go…is as best friends, right?”

I kept my head down.

I didn’t dare to like, look up or something. I might just break down. I’m just saying this, because I know I’m falling―very hard, for him but he’s a pop star and I’m just another fan and celebrities don’t date fans, much less Justin.

I’m not saying he likes me, because it’s impossible, but I’m sure he knows about this but I just feel like I have to clarify that in case we both lead each other on to something far more complicated. It wouldn’t be good, and that’s just for one.

“Uh,” Justin drawled on the word, until his voice cracked. Clearing his throat, he went on speaking. “Juliet, is something wrong?”

I looked up, startled.

Why would he think that? Nothing’s wrong, all is fine. I’m just being a random, teenage girl who’s afraid of getting hurt by someone who she loves deeply and knows would return that kind of feeling. I hate my melodramatic mind and thoughts sometimes, you know, I really, really. They piss me off. “No. No, why?”

Settling his gaze on mine, and locking our gazes together, “No, Juliet, why are you saying this now? Why this, why now? That’s what I want to know if there’s nothing wrong now. I just want to know.” And then something flashed across his eyes for a nanosecond, which looked fairly like hurt and guilt and sadness.

Maybe I’m just hallucinating.

And not maybe that you didn’t think of his feelings.

What does he even feel for me?! Nothing! That’s right, n o t h i n g. So I don’t see the point of thinking about his feelings when he’s only here clearly because he feels guilty about what he’d done and said to me the time we kissed. And that must just be it.

Letting out a deep sigh as an attempt to calm my nerves, I blinked, trying to ignore all of the mixed emotions inside of me. I stared. “Just a reminder, you know. I just feel like…I don’t know. I know you’re aware of this, but I’m just telling you, you know. I just felt the need to say it so I did. Just like that.”

“Juliet…” He whispered, his eyes twitching a little.

I forced my eyes away.

I swear I didn’t mean for this to happen. I absolutely didn’t want to end this pretty cool day like that. But after today, I finally came to realize more about Justin than what I thought I already did.

Behind this playful side of him, is someone innocently sweet. Not just the kind of sweetness that usual him would give. It’s different. And then I just found out more about him that made me fall harder for him than I’ve already fallen.

I must be the dumbest, most foolish girl in the world for ever thinking that I even ever stood a chance to be his girlfriend, because clearly that’s just impossible now that I’d given more than just a thought about it. It’s impossible, just impossible.

“Juliet, is this a way?” Justin asked, trying to sound neutral but failing miserably. Impossible, I thought, couldn’t be. He can’t be feeling hurt.

Pushing those thoughts aside, I began feeling confused at his question. Is that a rhetorical question or is he trying to imply on something that’s addling me? I cocked my head to the side and shook my head a little as a gesture to what I’m about to say, “What way? Wait, what do you mean? There’s no way about this―”

“Are you making yourself feel better and indirectly telling me that you like me and you think this can’t work out because I’m famous and you’re not?”

I think I stopped breathing for a second.

Are you making yourself feel better.

Indirectly telling me that you like me.

You think this can’t work out because I’m famous and you’re not.

“Yes.”

“So you don’t think that I would like you, too?” He narrowed his eyes at me, leaning back on the couch; shaking his head, as he went on, not waiting and allowing me to go on explaining. “And if I tell you I like you, too? And if I say this is too quick but I love you? And I’d do whatever it takes to make this work out for us? What are you gonna do about that? Tell me. Are we still gonna go on being just best friends?”

“Fuck.” I absentmindedly blurted, trying to absorb whatever he’d just said.

This is going to screw us all over so bad… “Your image will be ruined, that’s for o―”

“I don’t care about image. Jules, I thought you knew that. My career will go on even if my image is ruined. Hell, I’m keeping up with it just fine and nothing can break that fact. What are you trying to run away from?”

This. I wanted to say, but I decided against it. I decided to change the subject. Even though it’s not what I’m best at. Hell, I’m never good at anything. “Well, you wanna eat dinner? It’s getting late and I’m hungry.”

Justin frowned at me. Shaking his head, he voiced out. “Stop, running away. Face it.”

“I can’t,” I rubbed my face. “I don’t want to but I can’t.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m afraid.”

“Afraid of what?” Justin asked, his voice this time growing smaller and softer.

“This can’t work out even if we try to make it work.”

“You know what? Okay, you’re right,” he said, running his tongue across his lips quickly before shaking his head, again, “we’ll see how it goes. And by that, it means I’m bringing you out tomorrow to see how things would go.”

All I could do was stare at him because I couldn’t feel and I didn’t know what to think. And Justin? Flashing me the smile that looked like he’d made a right decision, he pulled out his phone and raised his eyebrows as he turned to face me, “Chinese or Italian?”