Sad Imagines

I had no reason to stay.....but I did

I used to never let anyone in. It hurt too much after what HE did to me. HE destroyed me. HE made it hard for other people to get closer to me romantically. He broke me down to my soul. It crushed me inside and out. HE did it cause he could. HE did it intentionally. HE was hurt once amd he needed to see why someone would hurt someone the way he was. I just happened to be his victim.

HE captivated me. I saw him for the first time when I turned 14 and entered High school. I was smitten from the start. He was charming and mysterious. He was a year older than me. He was TAKEN. He was dating my new friend I had made. I was disappointed, yet I still befriended him. I got to know him. We became close and really good friends. My feelings grew for him, but I said nothing. Even when he broke up with his girlfriend and was so broken I said nothing. I hated her.  I stayed by his side through it all. I never complained when I stayed up all night to talk to him on the phone. I let him hug me tightly and hold my hand. He kissed my forehead and cheeks all the time. Even though it made my heart race I thought nothing of it. I didn't want to ruin our friendship. After a year,  he assured me he was all better. I believed him. By this time I had given up on the idea of "us". I was content. Turns out he wasn't.

He confessed to me. I was so happy. I accepted and thats how my first love started. My first boyfriend ever. Everything was going great. So I thought. He would whistle the same tune every time and like a puppy I'd turn around and run to him. He called me his "cat" and I found it cute. He would always keep me near him. I always sat next to him at lunch  I couldn't talk to others much. I skipped classes with him to please him. He gave me little gifts. A necklace with his name on it is the main one I remember. He'd buy snacks and feed me even when I wasn't hungry. He showed me off like a trophy. This was all in front of others. Outside of school we barely went on dates or even simply hung out anymore. He was cold to me outside of school. He never invited me to his house anymore.

I saw him hanging with other girls. I didn't care. I trusted him. He loved me and me only right? Wrong. It had been 8 months into our relationship. He invited me to his house. I got there and realized no one but us were there. I remember him kissing me and things escalating. I regret giving him my innocence but I can't change it. I thought that it was love we made that day. It confirmed his love for me. However, he began to ignore me. I saw less amd less of him. I figured he was going through things so I gave him space while sending him supportive texts and telling him I was there for him always.

The silence went on for a week. I was getting impatient but most of all worried. That is until he called me over to his house. Of course I went. I knocked and there was no answer. My phone dinged and I got a text from him saying he was changing and to use the key hidden in the crack on the windowsill. I got in and was confused. I heard muffled sounds. I made my way to the hall way and my heart was in my stomach at this point. Tears built up in my eyes. I knew those sounds.  I didn't want to believe it. I opened the door to find my boyfriend on top of another girl. He looked straight at me and smiled and continued right in front of me. It broke me. I ran from there.

The next day I looked terrible. I saw him with her. He came up to me and said it was my fault for not pleasing him and being a goodie goodie but it felt good to do what she did to him to someone else. That tore me apart. After everything. After all the time I put into helping him and loving him and being not only his friend but girlfriend as well he threw it all away. I wasted all that time. It ruined me. I became a monster as well. I was no longer a "goodie goodie" I hurt a few people myself after I brokedown. I changed myself. Everything about who I was before was erased. It was so bad that it even scared HIM. He wanted me to stop. He tried to talk to me and apologize. I ended up pretending to accept it and after some time we got back together, but this time I was the monster. I was the mondter this time. I treated him like he treated me. I was completely lost in my anger and rage. Revenge consummed my heart. I hated myself. A year passed after I did that. I was 17 and still being an awful person.
That was until I met my soulmate.

He came to me like a fairytale. Only it didn't end with my happily ever after. It ended with me getting what I deserved. More heartbreak. I loved him so much. We were perfect together. Everyone thought so, but we were never really together. I was just his best friend. I confessed. I was rejected in the nicest way but most heartbreaking way possible. We continued to be best friends. It was like nothing happened after we talked it out. He didn't distance himself from me or get awkward.

This leads us to now. Adults in college. He met someone. He introduced me to her. He told me about his love for her. He called saying he proposed to her a few years later. Helping him plan the wedding. Helping him pick the rings. Helping pick his tux. Him asking me to be his "Best Woman" in his words. Me accepting. Me watching him marry someome else.
All these years and I still ended up being the one with the sad ending. Maybe I'm not worth it. I failed my test at humanity when I strayed from my old self. Maybe its just me. I'm just not good enough. I will never know.