Going Against the Wind (Lan Lin)

Chapter 12

From then on, Ouyang's attitude became much more serious; he no longer paid attention to Xiao Xuan's coquetry*, even refusing to hold hands. Naturally, he wouldn't be intimate with him anymore either; Xiao Xuan could feel the line of defense between the two of them.
[*Also implies a certain amount of childishness; the Korean term "aegyo" may be a close equivalent.]

Originally, Ouyang was hot-headedly in love; being splashed with cold water, his heart was a little cold. He was noticeably withdrawn, afraid of being deceived by him again.

Luckily, although Ouyang was on guard all day, yet Xiao Xuan could feel that Ouyang still liked him. And he knew that though Ouyang watched him treating himself well with suspicion, actually in his heart, he really wanted to believe, really hoped that this was all real.

"Teacher, do you need anything?" Now that his family background was already known, there was no need to continue pretending to be poor and pitiful.

Xiao Xuan, following the typical order of dating, was already at the time when he should give gifts to gain his lover's favor. But he sent quite a few things over, only for all of them to be returned.

Clearly, he had already avoided the flashy and impractical luxury goods that there was no room for; catering to Ouyang's likes, everything he chose was absolutely useful to Ouyang. Yet only a few were accepted, only the flowers were kept in a bottle in the living room; Xiao Xuan found it a little difficult to understand.

Ouyang stir-fried the lettuce in the pan, coughing from the smoke, "Nothing."

"You don't have to be polite, Teacher."

Ouyang only quietly turned off the gas, added seasoning, and lifted the pan.

"Teacher, you don't have to feel embarrassed, no matter what you lack..."

Ouyang became a little impatient from his speaking, "I don't lack anything."

When Xiao Xuan gave him gifts, of course he felt very happy; no matter what, Xiao Xuan was treating him well.

But he didn't know how much heart was in those electrical appliances, luxury carpets, and expensive clothes. Just as Xiao Xuan directly asked him, "Teacher, what do you lack?" rather than saying that it was a lover's sweet confession, it was merely charity.

Whatever Xiao Xuan gave him, he would know what else was deemed as unacceptable in his own house.

Xiao Xuan was already no longer the kid from before whose "family is a little short of money, needs to come over to his place to eat a meal." In front of this real Xiao Xuan now, the apartment he shared with Zhong Li was small and shabby, with cheap furniture and furnishings everywhere.

The television was too small, the water heater in the bathroom was a little problematic, frequently not starting up; there was no heating or cooling system in the house, the bed and couch were both not too comfortable; the dishes and chopsticks were old as well, the appearance not at all exquisite, and even the food was not great.

The poverty, crudeness, and inferiority that he had never been conscious of before were suddenly all exposed, and magnified infinitely. No matter how much effort he put into scrubbing the floor until it shone, it was no use.

He liked Xiao Xuan so much. But with such an enormous contrast, this kind of like gradually became very ridiculous, like a daydream. It made him a little miserable.

"Teacher, if you don't want anything, I'll be very sad." Xiao Xuan pursed his lips pitifully, though it was hard to see how much was real or pretense.

Ouyang flicked his forehead with a smile, picking up the plate, "When you start working and earn your own salary, you can buy me anything you want."