Going Against the Wind (Lan Lin)

Chapter 20

Translator's note: Warning for rape near the middle of the chapter. I've marked out the start and end of the section in bold. 

The apartment door was opened, and only the entrance light was turned on at first. It seemed to be a very big place. The living room was spacious, the curtains were not closed, and the large floor-length windows reflected the dim light of the night.

Xiao Xuan said from behind him: "This is close to the company. Usually when I have work, I'll sleep here. Alone."

Ouyang paid him no heed, only instinctively looking left and right. Right now, he had a sense of fear towards the dimly lit unfamiliar corners; he felt like people were hiding there.

"Don't be afraid. No one else is here, just me."

The room soon brightened. Xiao Xuan drew the thick and heavy curtains closed, turning around to look at him.

"Teacher."

"..."

"Don't be like this, I just brought you here to talk. Why don't you sit."

His excessive stiffness and fear probably looked very ridiculous, but he didn't want to be like this either; his body instinctively reacted this way.

Ouyang felt around for a place to sit on the sofa.

Hearing the sound of Xiao Xuan slowly walking over, feeling the darkness from the light being blocked by the man's tall figure, Ouyang couldn't help but draw his feet inwards.

"Teacher."

Xiao Xuan sat beside him. His closeness made Ouyang immediately straighten his back, stiffly staring at his own feet.

"I know you're scared of me." Xiao Xuan paused, his voice painstakingly gentle, "Teacher, look at me."

Ouyang found himself unable to move for a moment.

Xiao Xuan was still full of patience, "Take a look at me. I'm still the same as before. There's nothing to be afraid of."

The tone that sounded gentle truly carried an expressionless force. Ouyang forced himself to turn his head to look at him. He could not meet that pair of pitch black eyes from a close distance; he hurriedly turned his eyes away.

But his chin was suddenly grasped firmly, forcing him to turn.

"Why don't you even dare to look at me? I already said I won't hit you, what are you scared of?"

Ouyang was frozen there, his chin in great pain, and his expression hardened.

After facing each other for a few seconds, Xiao Xuan let go, standing up. Like he couldn't hold back, he suddenly knocked over everything on the table with a sweep of his hand. The falling and collision sound of the glassware that bore the anger made one tremble with fear.

Yet when he turned around to speak with Ouyang, he had already cleared up his expression, even with a hint of pacification, "Sorry. I'll pour you some water."

However, this kind of appearance was even more terrifying than anger. Ouyang didn't want to appear weak, but his jaw was still trembling from instinctive fear, "I, I'm going to go."

Xiao Xuan's voice darkened: "Teacher."

"Sorry, I still have something to do." Ouyang trembled as he gathered his book.

He wasn't purposefully trying to give Xiao Xuan a difficult time with his attitude. He also wanted to sit here casually*, facing Xiao Xuan, facing himself.

[*Not sure if there's a text here in the copy I was translating from.]

But he couldn't do it at all.